Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Why 2k?

Eating out is bad for you. That's why you should only do it once in a while. Most of your meals should be prepared at home. They put TONS of salt in restaurant food, not to mention LOTS of butter/other fats (like lard! [pig fat, yum]), and this yields outrageously high calorie totals in one meal that you should be spreading out over an entire day.

To wit: What 2,000 Calories Looks Like

The lesson:

“People who cook eat a healthier diet without giving it a thought,” Michael Pollan recently told Mark Bittman, both authors and advocates of the cook-it-yourself diet. “It’s the collapse of home cooking that led directly to the obesity epidemic.” The magic of the diet, its advocates say, is that it doesn’t mean skimping on portions or going without meat, eggs, cheese, alcohol or dessert.

Monday, December 22, 2014


This comes directly from Philly's tourism bureau -

I'm a Pat's fan, myself, but that's just because Geno spells his name with an "e." I hear from most people that Geno's is the best in town, but I'm incredibly stubborn, so I'll never know. Plus I hear Geno worked for Pat and left to open a rival across the street. Don't know if that's true but it sounds pretty lame to me.

If you're looking for a good cheesesteak in South Florida, the place to go is, without a doubt,
Mr. Z's, but it's in Key West, so...you know, if you're down there or whatever, you should really go there. Pizza is fantastic, as well.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Free Cholesterol Screenings at NASCAR Race

I'm, like, part of the media now, so I get these press releases all the time. Most of them are totally uninteresting to me or anyone else. This one gave me a chuckle though. I mean, c'mon, it's NASCAR. Chef BoyarAndy is going to be very upset with me.




Cholesterol awareness events on November 14, 15 and 16 are sponsored by AstraZeneca

WHAT: Free cholesterol screenings for adults aged 18 and older will be conducted at Homestead-Miami Speedway on Friday, November 14th through Sunday, November 16th during NASCAR’s Championship Races during the 2014 Ford Championship Weekend.

 Sponsored by AstraZeneca, the free cholesterol screenings are part of an educational initiative the company is conducting to help raise awareness about the importance of “knowing your numbers” as nearly 37% of South Floridians have high cholesterol levels. Health care professionals will be onsite to provide screening results and information about the importance of managing cholesterol levels.

WHO: The cholesterol screening is free and open to the public for adults aged 18 and older.

WHERE & WHEN: The cholesterol screenings at Homestead-Miami Speedway will be held on Friday, November 14th through Sunday, November 16th at the following times:

· Friday, November 14th: 11:30 AM – 8:00 PM

· Saturday, November 15th: 11:30 AM – 4:30 PM
· Sunday November 16th: 10:00 AM – 3:30 PM

 The cholesterol screenings will be held in the display area located beyond gate 11.

WHY: High cholesterol is a major risk factor for heart disease and it affects an estimated 31.9 million Americans. Only 1 out of every 3 adults with high cholesterol has the condition under control. Since there are no signs or symptoms of high cholesterol, getting your cholesterol checked with a simple blood test is the only way to know if you have high cholesterol. It is important that cholesterol levels are kept within healthy limits.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Food Network Star Casting Call

Ok, ok, if you guys really think I'm "captivating" I'll go and audition. Jeez, you're embarrassing me over here! 

Even if you think that the term "celebrity chef" is an insult to your intelligence and the entire restaurant industry, you have to admit that the concept helps sell a lot of commercials. Nothing more American than that. Watching Food Network is certainly more productive than pretending the players on your fantasy football team work for you. USA! Sign up here.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Friday, June 27, 2014

Frankenfood on Spike TV

The main benefit of writing this food blog is getting invited to cool events, but that's a drag because then we feel obligated to write glowing reviews of the stuff we were invited to eat. Makes you think about how corporate sponsorship of our news media affects them...deep...

One of the main nuisances is that we're now on roughly a bazillion media lists and get even more emails than you do. Yeah, pretty terrible.

Today's comes from the well-meaning people who are promoting a new show on Spike TV called "Frankenfood," which is exactly what it sounds like. Please enjoy the following trailer for the show - 

I got about halfway through before I killed myself, so now I'm dead. Euhhshffffff...[dying sound]

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Burger Time

It's summertime! That means burgers on the grill, right? Wrong. Cook them on a griddle or a cast iron skillet. We fully endorse the techniques outlined in this New York Times article featuring burger expert, George Motz.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Ommegerd This Sounds Sweet


Brewery Ommegang Kicks Off Third Annual
HopChef Beer and Food Pairing Competition in Miami on April 28
Brewery Ommegang with SAVEUR and up-and-coming chefs will
launch 2014’s first HopChef at the Biltmore Hotel

COOPERSTOWN, N.Y. – March 18, 2014 - Brewery Ommegang will kick off its expanded third annual HopChef Competition on Monday, April 28 from 7-10 p.m. at the Biltmore Hotel. The event will bring together Miami’s top rising chefs under one roof to pair dishes with Ommegang’s Belgian-style ales and compete for the title of Miami HopChef 2014. Tickets, which are now on-sale at http://hopchef2014.ticketleap.com/Miami/, are the only way to take part in the HopChef action and include samplings of each chef’s delectable dishes and a selection of Ommegang ales.

A line-up of eight chefs from leading, local restaurants have been hand selected to participate, including:
·      David Hackett – The Biltmore Hotel
·      Alan Hughes – Embassy of Wellbeing and Debauchery
·      Jacob Anaya – OTC
·      Sean Brasel –Meat Market
·      Andreu Silverman – Route 9
·      Michell Sanchez – Latin House Burger & Taco
·      Jason Pringle – DB Bistro
·      Michael Meuse – Doubletree Miami Airport Convention Center

Each chef will create one dish showcasing their imaginative beer and food pairing skills. The dishes, each paired with a specific Ommegang beer, will be served to a panel of judges and attendees to taste and score. The Miami judging panel includes: Celebrity Chef Michael Schwartz, Master Cicerone Neil Witte, StarChefs Managing Editor Will Blunt, Prime 112 Head Chef Mike Sabin, and Pubbelly Chef Jose Mendin.

“Miami, with its vibrant foodie culture and neighborhoods, is the perfect location to kick off HopChef 2014,’’ said Bill Wetmore, Marketing Director for Brewery Ommegang.  “This is our first year hosting a competition in Miami and we look forward to bringing some of the city’s top culinary talents together in the name of great beer and great food.”

The HopChef winner from Miami will be invited to the Grand Finale to compete against winners from Boston, Denver, San Francisco and Philadelphia at Ommegang’s annual Belgium Comes to Cooperstown festival on Aug. 9, 2014.The 2014 Grand Prize winner will receive a spotlight position on the SAVEUR Tastemakers board, a spotlight in SAVEUR Magazine & StarChefs.com editorial, a showcase with Brewery Ommegang at the StarChefs.com International Chefs Congress and a showcase station with Brewery Ommegang at the SAVEUR Summer BBQ, both in New York.

Additional cities hosting a HopChef Competition are:
·      Boston – May
·      San Francisco – June
·      Philadelphia – July
·      Cooperstown  (HopChef Finals)- August
·      Los Angeles – September
·      New York City - October
·      Dallas – November

Tickets, which are available for $75 each, can be purchased at http://hopchef2014.ticketleap.com/Miami/ and include samples of each chef’s signature dish and accompanying Ommegang beers as well as a commemorative Brewery Ommegang glass. The Biltmore Hotel is located at 1200 Anastasia Ave. in Coral Cables and the HopChef Event will run from 7-10 p.m.

Brewery Ommegang, located on a 136-acre farmstead in Cooperstown, NY, is regarded by many as the most beautiful brewery in America. The company opened in 1997 to brew fine Belgian-style craft beers, which are now distributed in 44 states. The brewery offers daily tours and tastings as well as a 100-seat café and an annual calendar of events, concerts and beer festivals. For more information, visit http://www.ommegang.com. Follow Ommegang on Twitter @BreweryOmmegang, www.Facebook.com/Ommegang, and on Instagram @BreweryOmmegang.

- # # # -

CONTACT:                Erinn Lynch/ Nick Valente

Friday, April 11, 2014

Mâitre de Stalking

This is some thorough customer service right here. The mâitre d' at NYC's Eleven Madison Park googles every single person who makes a reservation at the restaurant. Of course, he can't possibly know who is going to accompany the reserver, so there's a bit of a hole in the efficacy of the practice, but I am always impressed with a business that goes the extra mile to service its customers. Kudos.


Monday, March 31, 2014


I believe the kids are calling this kind of thing a "lifehack." I love knowing tricks like this. Thanks to my friend Ed for sharing -

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Fun Event for a GREAT Cause

If you're my friend, then you are obligated to attend the upcoming Ben Stevens Bowl-Off for Juvenile Diabetes Research on Friday, 3/28 at Lucky Strike in Miami Beach. If, for some reason, you have an excuse cooked up, like "my wife is due to give birth that very night" or "I'm out of the country performing life-saving surgeries on impoverished Third World people" or "I'm washing my hair" then you can still donate. So there.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Worst Restaurant in Miami (and America)

According to this article in some publication I've never heard of, it's the restaurant at the Colony Hotel. Miami has its fair share of bad places to eat, just like any other city, and a bunch of them are on South Beach, right on the touristy strip that no local would ever set foot on, unless to cross it on the way to the beach, Ocean Drive.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Jerky Boys/It Takes One to Know One

We couldn't decide which title we liked better so we just put them both up there. Being the writer and editor has its perks, like the liberty to go on outrageous tangents like the one you're about to read.

We've written for UrbanDaddy in the distant past, and if you care to imagine what it's like to write for them, or any editor, from what we hear, it's probably similar to being raped. Or, like, imagine that you were working on a delicious pizza for some friends. And you took care to select high quality ingredients and placed them onto the pie ever so deliberately and precisely and then some guy comes in and grabs it roughly, starts to criticize the very essence of the pizza, complaining that you picked stupid ingredients, the shape is all wrong, inserts grammatical errors you'd never, ever make in a million years, I mean, bad ingredients like anchovies and raisins (actually that'd probably be pretty good), then passes it on with his crappy changes to another guy, and that guy puts it in a blender and then pours the slop out on the floor and serves it to your dinner guests and you have to tell them that technically you made it, but it didn't really come out as you intended. And they ask, "well, did you make it or didn't you?" That's kind of what it's like. Maybe more like that than rape.

Switching gears...

We recently got in touch with Miamian, Jordan Barrocas, of Three Jerks Jerky, who moved out to LA to make fancy beef jerky with his best friend, Dan Fogelson. These two jerks -

Dan Fogelson is the big jerk on the left and Barrocas is the wiseguy on the right.
Wanna hear about it? 

EIM: Jordan, what's the deal dude? Why did you leave Miami and move to LA, which seems to us to be just a big annoying version of Miami with worse traffic and a ton of pollution? Plus, the ocean is cold there!!!

JB: Hey guys.  Thanks for taking the time to chat we with me.  Eat It, Miami is pretty cool and you guys are OK, so I’m stoked to be talking about jerky with y’all.  LA’s a cool city, it gets a bad rap but I like it a lot.  You’re right though, it is basically like a bigger and more traffic-y version of Miami just a few differences like swapping Mexican food with Cuban food, guys who say “brah” with guys who say “mang”, entertainment industry a-holes with well, everyone, the medical marijuana store with that guy from the restaurant and nightlife that ends at 2AM with nightlife that begins at 2AM.  Seriously though, Miami is my home and I love the city to death.  Next time I’m around we should get together, grab a drink and maybe even make some jerky.  It can be a good old fashion circle jerk.

EIM: Is there a strong Jewban population in LA? Because we don't know many people in Miami who aren't Jewish or Cuban or both. Even Colin Patrick O'Higgins is Cuban. Seriously. Maybe you've found your edge in LA...

JB: I once made a Reuben empanada.  It was awesome.  And also the most Jewban thing to ever exist in LA.  One day I’m going to open a Jewban Food Truck, thoughts?

EIM: We know from Kanye West that when you order "jerk," some insufferable wiseguy or gal will say "you are what you eat." Did you guys start out as jerks or did you just eat too much of your delicious jerky? And in describing your jerky as "delicious," we are making an enormous assumption, since, cough cough, we haven't been sent any samples... It also kind of sounds like we're hitting on you. Which we are not. We're mostly dudes over here and only a couple of us are gay, so it'd be wrong to hit on you on behalf of the entire crew. Just answer the question, Jordan. This is like when O'Reilly interviewed Obama that time before the most anticlimactic Super Bowl in history, for 49 of the 50 states, at least.

JB: No worries on the awkward flirting.  I think your cute, but not really my type.  Sorry.  I honestly have no idea where our name comes from...  My partner says it may have been inspired by me.  We were actually college roommates way back when, and since then, he has always claimed to hate me.  I don’t get it.  I love him.  Why does he hate me?  He’s a jerk.

We’ll get some samples out to you right away, but do need to give you a warning.  Eating our Filet Mignon Jerky may ruin all other jerky for you forever.  Eat at your own risk.  Also, in the meantime it’s in all three Epicure locations

EIM: We respect the fact that you are boldly blazing a trail in creating a "premium" beef jerky product. But what happens when Puff Daddy (we're old fashioned over here at EIM) creates an "ultra premium" jerky? Will there be a new East Coast-West Coast beef (jerky)? Is this something you're willing to die for? Because we heard in a YouTube video once that, if you want to be successful, you have to want it more than breathing. Or something like that. That seems crazy to us, but we're not all that successful, and maybe that's why. But we are still breathing, so we have that going for us. Which is good.

JB: Puff Daddy has thought us many life lessons (especially from the No Way Out album), that we apply to our jerky business every day.  Trailblazing is hard work.  Everyone thought we were totally crazy to make jerky out of Filet Mignon.  But we just kept reminding ourselves that “Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down” and put our sights on creating a product that we envisioned and loved.  To some, “It’s All About the Benjamins” but to us it’s about pursuing our dreams and doing what we love. That’s what drives us every day.  It’s hard work and takes a lot of time.  Sacrifice is paramount and constant but we are reminded to “Don’t Stop What You’re Doing” and one day we will end in “Victory”   

EIM: Who's the third jerk? Is it God? Seems blasphemous to us, but maybe he has a good sense of humor.

JB: Yep, God


Monday, January 6, 2014

They Must Be Making Omelettes over at 50 Eggs

A little late to this story over here, but here's yet another chef scandal at a 50 Eggs restaurant. I know that chefs can be prima donnas (should technically be written "prime donne" in Italian, but that doesn't make sense either, since "donna" means lady), but you have to wonder about the management abilities of Kunkel when there have been so many issues with his chefs...