Friday, October 5, 2012

Eat It - 100 Montaditos, 244 Biscayne Blvd, Miami, FL (786)347-3065

So, uh, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I went on line to look up the address and then remembered that the downtown location of 100 Montaditos is in my building. The one where I live. I should probably know that address, right? What am I, five years old? Smh.

That means "shaking my head," by the way. It's the new OMG.

My fiancee, our friend Krystal and I all intended to hit up the food truck roundup on Biscayne the other night, but by the time I was done visiting my friend SoBe Cash Money's new doggie, the food trucks were all gone. I have a real love-hate relationship with food trucks. Basically, I love Gastropod and I hate everyone else who has anything to do with food trucks or even mentions them in a sentence. Let's all stand in a long line and wait forever for our food and then have nowhere to sit! Doesn't that sound great?

Food trucks only make sense in New York City where people walk everywhere and they have a bazillion options on every block of the biggest city in the country. It's just about the stupidest thing in the world to drive somewhere and then wait in line with 50 people while everything runs out and some hipster douche bag with an iPad "cash register" rolls his eyes at you for wanting to eat food when you're hungry.

I have to go back in the story for a second. The doggie that made me late? This little girl -

I think it's pretty understandable that I wouldn't want to leave. She's about the size of a large hamburger. And yes, you kind of want to eat her because she's so cute. I don't mean the way Koreans put dog on pizza. I mean the way you want to nibble on a baby's little fingers. Like my newly born niece, Lily, whom I can't wait to see next week! Oh, you want another adorable photo you say? But this post will just be too freakin' cyawt!!!! Ok, my usually tough exterior has clearly been softened by the universal cuteness I am being subjected to. I relent -

100 Montaditos has pretty cute sandwiches, come to think of it. They're tiny. But they're cheap. And on Wednesdays, they're really cheap. How cheap? $1. And everything on the menu is that price. A beer? Nah, that can't possibly be only $1. They probably charge more for beer, right? That insanely low price only applies to the tiny sandwiches, I bet. Wrong! Large salad? $1. Plate o' meat? $1. Everything that they sell in the restaurant is $1 on Wednesdays, so after you fill out a little card with your selections, you hand it in to the cashier and they multiply $1 by the number of items you ordered. Your receipt conveniently displays the normal prices so you can see just how much you're saving on Wednesday nights. I'd highly recommend that you experience this deal. Especially if you live in my building and can get to this place faster than you can find your car in our enormous parking garage.

The downside? The tiny sandwiches that are filled with pretty much anything you can think of, like jamon serrano and tortilla espanyola, there's a dessert sandwich with guava and cream cheese, there are gringo offerings like pulled pork. The downside, I say? They are loaded with salt. You will realize it when you're digesting your meal and your feet start to swell and you feel the need to drink 10 glasses of water before bed. But it's worth it. I am a disgusting pig so I ate 10 sandwiches, and even though they're very small, 10 of them is a pretty decent amount of food and I felt totally stuffed by the end of the meal. Luckily, all I had to do was walk 20 steps to my building and take the elevator up.

The crowd was young and hip and lively. Pretty much everyone in the place was elated to be eating so cheaply. It's kind of like how I have trouble evaluating restaurants when my meal has been paid for. It's just better when you don't have to pay, and $1 per food item is almost like not paying at all. Kind of a little inflation lesson there, isn't it, dear readers. Told ya you learn something when you visit this blog.

And today it's just so darn cute!


Colin said...

I just got an email from my building's management office containing the "great news" that 100 Montaditos now delivers to residents of my building. The building in which 100 Montaditos is located. How freaking lazy are people?

Colin said...

The location on Biscayne Blvd downtown is now closed, fyi. Turns out it's hard to pay the rent when you only charge $1.