Friday, May 18, 2012

Eat It - Strip Steakhouse, 801 Brickell Bay Dr, Miami, FL (305)364-5384

Our experience at Strip Steakhouse reminded me of a scene from the Simpsons when Homer and Marge flew first class for the first time -

Stewardess - Sir, what would you like for dinner? A steak or 2 steaks?
Homer - Can I have both?

Since Chef BoyarAndy and I were there with an old friend who's moved out of town, it was a celebration of sorts and we decided to try several of the exotic meats on the menu. Hence, we ordered 4 steaks and three sides for the 3 of us -

Ostrich (good but not as good as kangaroo)
Venison (breaded, crispy and tender)
Kangaroo (all the female readers just went "awwww" and now hate us) - it was the unanimous winner
Bison Rib Eye (good but not as good as regular rib eye)

I thought all four were delicious. Our waiter recommended that we order them medium, since at Strip they cook things on the rare side. It was good advice. They were plenty rare at medium.

Sides -

Mashed Potatoes (covered in the usual baked potato accoutrements: sour cream, cheese, chives) *cough*throwsomebaconbitsontheretooplease
Creamed Corn (prepared kind of like cole slaw, so good)
Lobster Mac 'n Cheese (no description necessary)

Since that's not nearly enough for 3 grown men in the greatest country in the history of civilization and overindulgence, we got an order of s'mores for dessert as well as one bread pudding. ChefBoyarAndy had never had s'mores before. He grew up too fancy for them I guess since he usually flamb├ęs something when he eats dessert. Maybe they're a Northern thing and he never had them growin' up in Ca-lina. He really should have referred to them as "somes" I suppose...(grandfather humor right there). The s'mores were great, but all those ingredients just come out of a box. Fun to make at a restaurant anyway. The bread pudding had a decent amount of bourbon poured on it. Not sure that was necessary but it didn't hurt it. Not an amazing dessert or anything.

Strip is not the fanciest place in the world. It has the interior of something like a cross between a Steak 'n Shake and a strip club and the building that houses it, The Four Ambassadors, is pretty old but charming and "Old Florida." The waitresses are dressed like the cocktail girls at strip clubs. I mean, that's what Chef BoyarAndy told me anyway. I'm not that familiar with such establishments but he seemed to know a LOT about them. By the way, did you hear that a guy died while getting a lap dance recently? I'm sure it happened in Florida. Damn, it was in Texas.

They have those bustier tops that push their boobs up to their chins. Which is nice. We were discussing how funny it would be if they pretended it was a strip club but just didn't have any strippers. Like the DJ would announce "Brandy to the main stage." Maybe the residents of the building wouldn't be too crazy about that. Hey, take it up with Chef BoyarAndy!

Everyone is quite friendly at Strip, and we were delighted to see our pal Mark, the old manager from Chophouse, a place we initially thought was pretty bad, but grew to love. Mark is now managing Strip. You'll recognize him because he has a voice about as raspy as Harvey Fierstein (please watch entire video before resuming restaurant review)...

And we're back. Really the only problem with the meal was that for some reason they decided to test out the sound system at the end of our meal by blaring dancehall music. Um, we can vouch for its quality. It can go really, really, really loud.

Steaks are about 50 bucks, pretty standard. You'll probably spend $80-100 per person when you eat there. I'd check it out if I were you. 

Last note: parking sucks around Brickell Bay Drive now. They've taken away a lot of the street parking and everyone lives around there now. Best to save the time and just valet for like 7-10 bucks.


Colin said...

Some spammer left a comment for Lucky Clover talking about how it was also a great place to watch sports. Totally unrelated and annoying. Now that they've gotten my attention, I'll say that Lucky Clover is kind of a rip-off and you're better off going to Fado or Blackbird if you're in the area around Brickell. Bet you wish you hadn't left that comment now, don't you Lucky Clover spammer. Whoever built that and next door Mare Nostrum have wasted a lot of money. MN closed with months of its opening.

Colin said...

Ok, I'll just leave this spam comment here since they're just gonna keep coming back. At least they're persistent, even if they don't know English grammar. I assume the Lucky Clover people are actually Venezuelans or something and not actually Irish. Of course, my father is half-Irish and from Venezuela, so I suppose they could be both. But since they've provoked me once more, I will reiterate that Lucky Clover blows. It costs like 8 bucks for a Bud Light and it's just a bar that is too big and expensive for its own good. Don't take my word for it. Read the yelp reviews. They're way worse than my comments. End transmission.