(This raght hea is a Chef BoyarAndy guest post. He's old school. He actually typed this up and then sent it as a telegram, which was translated to Morse Code which was carved into a clay tablet by stylus which then got turned into 1's and 0's by your humble and extremely handsome editor.)
It’s 8pm on Friday. You’re in Brickell. You’ve braved the crowds at Fado or Brickell
Irish Pub and you’re in the mood for Mexican food. You want homemade guac with
fresh chips. You want tasty tacos. You want real carnitas. You want fresh salsa.
You want a cool atmosphere with the option to sit outside.
Do you want to pay $15 or $50?
Since this is Miami, I’m sure there are plenty of people who want to pay $50. Those
people are too busy ironing their Ed Hardy shirts to read kick-ass blogs like this. [Editor's note: I hope you clicked the link. It's pretty awesome.]
You can get all those things you wanted at either Rosa Mexicana or El Vato, but only
one of them is the best bang for your buck in Brickell right now. [Editor's note: Not to be confused with the best boobs for your buck in Brickell, which would be Blue Martini.]
I do actually enjoy Rosa…there are some specialty items on the menu that you aren’t
going to find at El Vato. I just don’t see the value in a lot of the menu. The guac is
good…but it isn’t $14 good. You can easily spend like 80 bucks for a few margaritas and 2 orders of guac at Rosa before you've even sat down to eat. We only did that when Nevin Shapiro would take us out for dinner.
El Vato considers itself a tequila bar and, given that there are 50 or so options
to choose from, I’d say they are correct. They don’t have Pepe Lopez, though, which , ahem, anyone
who happened to be in Raleigh NC in the fall of 1998 will tell you turns the most sophisticated of bloggers into the hottest of falling down messes. They do have an excellent selection of premium tequilas though, if you’re the sipping type, like this guy, instead of the shooting type, like a guy whose name rhymes with Shmeff Shmoden.
Stop in, have a Modelo, some guac and a couple of tacos. Make sure you wash your
hands…both for proper hygiene, you dirty, dirty blog readers and to admire the
coolest sink in Miami (assuming you’re going in the men’s room…let’s face it, even if
you’re female nobody is going to stop you from going in the men’s room). Walk out
happy that you outsmarted the crowd waiting for a table at Rosa and that you saved
enough money to buy one cocktail at the Viceroy. [Editor's note: way to check out the potties, CBA. Important component of the dining experience. We pick on the Viceroy now? Um, okay!]
Bonus Math Question and Answer:
$20 ÷ $5 Weekday Happy Hour Margaritas
= Excellent Way to Totally Kill Your Productivity the Next Day