Friday, March 18, 2011

Eat It - Miami Beach Garden Tour (THIS SATURDAY 3/19)

Miami Beach residents! Do you feel deprived because you are unable to enjoy the wonder that is eating from a truck out in the street? For some reason, it's fun. It just is. Like overpaying for an ice cream novelty from a truck. It's exhilarating. Especially if you're some dumb kid. Or buying a beer at a beer truck. I'm sure those exist somewhere and I'm sure it's totally awesome. Don't they have beer trucks at country music concerts? I'm pretty sure they do.

I was hoping to enjoy some Cheeseme on Saturday night in Wynwood during Gallery Walk, but all of the hipsters in their flannel shirts and dark rimmed glasses had clogged the lines and rendered the waiting times up to 15-20 minutes. I had no patience for such terrible service. Truck food should be served in like a minute. Maybe 2. You think these trucks would survive in New York?

Back to those damn, dirty hipsters. They were also wearing skinny black jeans and Chuck Taylor's and they had mussy hair capped off with pork pie hats, too. And you know what else? They were talking about how Obama is waaaaay too conservative. And also how veganism is really weak and that you shouldn't eat anything that comes from the earth because that's like totally exploitative man. So, I don't know where they get their food from. I think I just said that they eat at food trucks. Forget that part.

Well the rest of us red-blooded Reaganites who listen to country music and eat apple pie and McDonald's should all go and get tickets to my angelic mother's brainchild, The Miami Beach Botanical Garden's 10th Annual Miami Beach Garden Tour. Somehow, through her unsurpassed sweetness I assume, she has convinced Miami Beach millionaire after millionaire to open up his or her house to the public for the purpose of raising funds to support South Beach's botanical haven from the madness and nightclubbing. If you're European, a nightclub is American for "Discoteque." The gardens you will see are spectacular. (There was even one on Indian Creek Island one time!)

Tickets may be procured he-a, for 25 smackers. They're 30 bucks on Saturday. And even if you don't buy a ticket, which means you won't be able to view the homes, you can still go to the Garden and enjoy the following food trucks (which is awesome because they're not allowed on Miami Beach, but will be on the grounds of the Garden):


Thats was literally copied and pasted from the website. I think they might want to look into a new web/graphic designer. Just sayin'.

See you at the Garden!

Awesome! (I just got home from celebrating St. Patrick's Day, in case you couldn't tell. I'm sleepy/hungry.)

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