Monday, December 19, 2011

Eat It - Berries in the Grove, 2884 SW 27th Avenue, Miami, FL (305) 448-2111

www.berriesinthegrove.com

Last night after doing some shopping at Dadeland Mall, a place that makes me want to kill myself many times over, my girlfriend and I decided to take US-1 back to our place downtown and figure out something for dinner along the way. I kind of wanted to go to Flannigan's since it's quick and cheap, but she didn't because it doesn't exactly serve the most healthful food and she's a health nut.

Back to the shopping topic. I miss the mid-90s when I'd visit Florida from my boarding school and there was lots to do but not the ridiculous amount of traffic and obnoxiousness that abound in 2011. It seems to be getting worse in many regards. I remember even during my college years when Aventura Mall was a pleasant place to visit, and not at all a hassle. I can't really deal with that craziness more than once a year now. I have come to do most shopping on line, a practice I scorned only 2 years ago.

Same goes for going out. I stick mainly to dive bars since night clubs are now totally outrageous rip-off joints designed to host the super wealthy Russian or the moronic 24 year-old who thinks you have to buy bottles to get chicks. Sigh...

So, dinner on Sunday. Since I know that my girlfriend loves Berries, right around the corner from the Flannigan's in the Grove, I asked if she wanted to go there. I'd also never eaten there and wanted to try it. Since Berries is one of her favorite places and she's eaten there a hundred times, she was shocked to learn I'd never been there.

We were immediately greeted by the warm, friendly, and talkative hostess. She also could not believe I'd never been to Berries.

Our waiter must be the best waiter in the entire state. Derrick. Ask for him if you go there. He got us drinks the second we sat down and kept our water glasses full the entire meal. This is a very easy and cheap way to make your customers happy. Please take note, restaurant owners, managers, and waitstaff.

We ordered the pasta special, a delicious ravioli with truffle oil, arugula, and a dollop of ricotta on top. The ricotta provides a refreshing, cool contrast to the hot pasta and sauce. This can be easily done when cooking at home. I highly recommend it. $18 seemed a little pricey for the portion that came out to the table, but it turned out to be plenty of food. They might consider plating it in a bowl rather than a flat plate so it looks like more food.

We also got the Pollo Al Curry (Chicken Curry). That's how it appears on the menu. I wouldn't translate it since, if you live in South Florida and couldn't read that, I don't know how you survive. The Pollo Al Curry is a solid dish. Chunks of white meat in a mild curry sauce with jasmine rice, peppers and a fantastic chutney of apple, pineapple, and mango. That one costs $16.50.

We were surprised to see so many people drinking on a Sunday night. There were chicks doing shots at the bar! That sh*t cray. Maybe it was in honor of the Heat's drubbing of Orlando. Anyhoo, since we didn't drink alcohol, we got out of there for about $50 all in. Pretty good meal in a lovely atmosphere. The restaurant has mostly outdoor seating and has surprisingly little noise considering it's located on SW27th Street, a main route to the center of Coconut Grove. But you probably know all of this since you've been there before.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Do It - Art Basel, Miami, Not Basel, Switzerland

So, we're bougie and get tickets to Vernissage, along with the other 15,000 super VIP Miami residents who attend the annual sneak peak at Art Basel, the world's largest contemporary art fair.

If you're in the market for a large canvas covered in pencil scribbles or maybe a bunch of photos of homeless people's butt cracks scattered on the floor and covered in agave nectar, and you have a gazillion dollars or so to drop on one of those masterpieces, then Art Basel is your man, er, place.

I actually love most of the contemporary crap, but it doesn't mean I won't make fun of it.

This isn't a restaurant review, but we've gone over how you can go start your own blog if you don't like what we put here. Please don't though. There's already too much competition for everyone's precious, precious free time, and I don't need my readers to be distracted by some new hip thing you start. Good, it's settled.

Things we noticed at Art Basel this year -

They seem to be much stricter about the capacity, about half an hour into the event, since they were allowing people to enter only when some had left, kind of like we were waiting to get into Buck 15 on a busy night. An aggressive mom tried running us over with her baby's stroller.

Woh! So many people with facelifts. Like at least 50.

Christian Slater.

After spotting him, we heard several couples chatting about how they'd seen Christian Slater. We wondered if maybe he was flattered to still be noticed, since all he does these days is those Autotrader commercial voiceovers. That's Christian Slater?! Sure is.

We were noticing that one small gallery booth seemed to have something in the neighborhood of $100 million in art, having among their pieces several Picassos, Miros and Matisses. That led us to wonder how much all of the art in just the convention center must be worth. It's gotta be billions of dollars. How does one insure all of that? Surely, a catastrophic fire would cause irreparable financial harm as well as cause great losses to the art world and humanity at large. We are reminded year after year when Art Basel comes around that art is the most important thing in the world.

So, as pretentious as everyone acts at the events and how bad the traffic is, it's all worth it. You should go.

*Please go buy something from my cousin, Lowell Boyers. His stuff is totally awesome. He's exhibiting at Pulse in Wynwood's Ice Palace.

Also, I thought this was a nice message -

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ketchup Poll Results Are In!

Our polls are important tools for gauging public opinion about stuff that's not related to the presidential race.

Fancy ketchup has edged out regular ketchup with 55% of the vote. Is that a mandate to rule the condiment station? Let me be clear and make no mistake.

I don't know.

It probably says something about how the rich are getting richer, so fewer people are in the socioeconomic stratum that demands fancy ketchup.

But we're finally adding a new poll. Please check the right hand side of the blog and make your choice.

Watch It - The Throne


That sh*t really was cray.

We were fortunate enough to attend the highly anticipated Jay-Z and Kanye concert at the Bank Atlantic Center in Sunrise, FL. We bought our tickets before the Miami show was announced, but after listening to Kanye strain his vocal chords all night, we won't be surprised if tomorrow night's show gets cancelled. T'would be a shame, but we've gotta warn a brother. Might not happen.

Our favorite stuff that happened at the concert -

As loyal Lexus owners, not only did we take the I-95 "Lexus Lane" up to the concert venue, but we love the Bank Atlantic, since parking is free for Lexus owners, because they're a major sponsor of the arena. There's a special Lexus lot, but it was full when we arrived, so we just parked with all of the non-Lexuses. Don't worry, we parked next to a Range Rover and right near a white Ferrari that was parked in a handicapped spot.

Upon entering Bank Atlantic, we immediately noticed that many people dressed in all black everything. Like us -

Well, all black mostly everything, at least. Surprised to break out the Rambo boots again so soon. They were a good purchase, it turns out.

Sitting next to us, in the nosebleeds as you can tell from the first photo, was a really, really old couple. They were at least in their 70s. I don't know if they were chaperoning their grand kids or what, but they were old. So old.

Jay-Z asked us if we were having a good time "thus far". That's bourgie ("boo-zhee").

Kanye's leather Roman centurion skirt. I actually like his style for the most part, but he certainly looks like a clown sometimes. And tonight he looked ridiculous, especially when compared to Jay's effortless style. Kanye sported a seriously satanic goat Baphomet t-shirt (this). I don't know what the deal is with all of that Masonic devil worshipping stuff from a guy who claims he's never going to Hell since he made "Jesus Walks". Whatever, dudes. Make that money. You're not brainwashing me. I'm not throwing my diamond in the sky. Sorry. Love your music though.

The show was incredible. Amazing lights and stage. Energetic and enthusiastic performances from both rappers. They really looked like they were having a great time up there. Jay continues to impress me with how easy he makes it look. Never a mistake. Never straining himself too hard.

Highlight of the night was 99 Problems. Spectacular. If this show is coming to your town, we highly recommend that you buy yourself a ticket.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

8 Oz. Burger Bar Radical New Review Format!

www.8OZBURGERBARMIAMI.COM


Jeez, you don't have to shout the URL, dudes.


8 oz. Burger Bar is located at 1080 Alton Rd, Miami Beach, FL. Phone number: (305)397-8246.


We're taking this one in a different direction. We don't want to get stale. Staleness is not an adjective one wants associated with food-based blogs. So here we go, in the conversational format suggested by Chef BoyarAndy -


Colin: Yo Andy! I heard you went too 8 oz! (Andy: I feel like you're testing my ability to spot grammatical errors here) - Colin: This was the fault of my goddamned Blackberry. It has a problem called "stuttering". I press a key and it types several of the letter. Yaar, it's driving me nuts (you ever hear that joke about the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants?).


Andy:  Why hello Colin.  As a matter of fact I sat beside you.  Was your meal as memorable as my company?


Colin: I'm pretty sure I would remember having eaten there with you, but I may have still been under the influence of the Joose I drank the night before. That stuff makes Four Loko seem like a Bartles & Jaymes wine cooler. You remember those?


Andy:  Remember them?  Hell I starred in two of them in 1986.  I paid for my dinner at 8 oz with two of my royalty checks.



Colin: Oooh, la dee da. Royalty. I suppose that was why you were eating your short rib grilled cheese with your pinkies out.

Andy:  You really were under the influence.  I had the Keg Burger:  House blend of tri tip, sirloin, short rib and chuck, onion rings, "beer cheese", sauteed jalapenos and shredded short rib.  The two toppings I was most looking forward to were the sauteed jalapenos and the shredded short rib.  Sadly, they were also the two that were barely existent.  I counted 3 small jalapeno slices and had to work to even find the short rib.  I was impressed with the amount of beef but c'mon...you can't tease a Bartles & Jaymes man with shredded short rib and jalapenos then use what seemed to be a full head of lettuce and 3 giant onion rings in their place.  You remember those friend pickles we had at least?

Colin: Yes, Andy, I remember the fried pickles. They were quite thick. I could have sworn that everyone at the table ordered the short rib grilled cheese. I must have been enjoying it too much to notice what you were eating, what with the onion marmalade and bel paese cheese. That link goes to cheese.com. Man, the internet is the best. Reminds me of a t-shirt I recently designed, of course. I also had the Wilted Spinach Salad with bacon, onions, and blue cheese balsamic dressing. I've combined those two dressings at home in the past. And I shall do so in the future. Yum! I was tempted to order one of their "Adult Milkshakes," but at $10 a pop, they were a little expensive for my taste. I tried looking those up on line on their fairly cool website, but I couldn't find any beverages besides Dr. Brown's. I should probably look harder. But I won't.

Andy:  See I'm skeptical of those fried pickles.  While they were thick...they were also too uniform and perfect.  Me thinks they were not cut, battered and fried moments before bringing them to us.  Take, for example, B & B just down the street. You know they had just been dipped in batter and fried moments before serving since you'd occasionally get that clump o' pickle that is like 4 pickles thick and has way too much batter on it.  Those imperfections make perfect fried pickles.  We won't even bring up the fact that 8 oz used to serve fried pickle spears...which as any fried pickle connoisseur knows, totally throws off the crucial batter to pickle ratio.  You're leaning toward an "Eat it" recommendation aren't you?

Colin: I hear you, dude. I think Burger & Beer Joint is probably a better over all restaurant and, unless it's a really busy night like, oh, say, Final Four night like it was on Saturday and it's too packed to get a table, then the service is very good (at B&B). The service at 8 oz, in the two instances I've eaten there, has been pretty sub par. They never fill up your water glass at that place! Shouldn't sub par mean really good, since if you shoot below par in golf, you're totally awesome? Still think 8 oz is well worth the trip. I found our dining experience to be lovely, mostly due to the wonderful company of our lively crew, of course, and the deliciousness of the food. Their mayonnaise based secret sauce is sublime. I put it on everything but the salad. Oh, and I didn't put it in my soda. How much do you love mayonnaise-based sauces, AC?

Colin: I wonder what Boden would think of this? He really missed out... 

Boden: This is what I get 2 days after asking what you guys ended up doing???
Andyyou should come over to 3613 for some mayonnaise based sauces and to see the new kitty.

Colin: I guess so. Seems like a pretty awesome answer to me. 
Andy, please stop avoiding mayonnaise-based questions.

Andy:  More like schmooopied out.  I think 8 oz serves a purpose.  I do like the fact that no matter where you are sitting you can see 4 or 5 big LCD TV's tuned to the sporting event du jour.  The same can't be said for B & B.  But that doesn't make up for my $16 mediocre burger and questionable fried pickles no matter how many Magic Hat #9s I drink.  If you want to drink some solid craft brews and be assured of having your game of choice be on a large TV then 8 oz works...other wise go to B & B.

As for the scourge of god (Attila the Hun for you history buffs) known as mayonnaise-based sauces...my thoughts mirror those of Ron Burgundy toward San Diego:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoKAcVL_phI

Boden: Colin's Scrabble reign of terror is over.

Colin: Yeah, pretty upsetting. You must have beaten some GIRL to accomplish it though. No games we've been playing have finished since the ratings changed. That said, I was getting tired of being at the top for so, so, so, so long. Too much pressure. This really doesn't have that much to do with 8 oz Burger Bar, btw.

Boden: The only games I have played in the last 8 months are with you guys


Colin: Oh, then I take it back. Sorry.


Boden: The best time I had at 8 oz was when I spent the whole day drinking there and playing pool with Ben.  Food is not all that great.  Also, if you haven't been to the B&B in Brickell, you should go because its much larger and nicer than the SoBe one... I think.


***


So there you have it. We all prefer Burger & Beer Joint, but Andy and I like 8 oz, even though the service is bad.


The End.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Oh We Fancy, Huh?

Please note, esteemed readers, that the Ritz-Carlton South Beach is now the official hotel of Eat It, Miami.

"Ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen." I've always loved their motto.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Eat It - Front Porch, 1418 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach, FL (305)531-8300

www.frontporchoceandrive.com/

Before this past weekend, I'd neither eaten at, nor even heard of, Front Porch Cafe. Even stranger is that my friends have all gone there a million times. So, I guess they just didn't invite me. It's quite possible that I'm not as adored as I once thought myself to be. Frowny face. (That's funnier than doing this : (  Feel free to steal that.) Maybe they just don't invite me when they want to talk. I seriously can't believe how much I talk sometimes. The words will be streaming out of my mouth and I'll be thinking "stop talking" and I just can't. There is too much stuff racing through my mind and I have to let some of it out. Otherwise, my head might explode and then there'd be gooey brain matter all over everyone's nice new, super-soft v-neck t-shirts and maxi dresses. Maxi dresses are these hot little numbers -


Now, I'm not saying that I'd leave my girlfriend for Carrie Underwood and risk a death-inducing punch to the head by her monstrous hockey player husband, but I'm not not saying that either. Whatever, she drools over PGA golfer Adam Scott any time he's on TV. You know he's like soooo famous since I had to identify him by his profession. If I just wrote Lebron James, you'd have no idea who I was talking about, but if I preface the name with "NBA player," you're all "I know that dude!" Just like Adam Scott. In case you can't TELL, I'm being SARCASTIC. Seriously, my dad's more famous than that dude. Stupid Adam Scott. Whatever.

So, speaking of my beautiful girlfriend, I'm a little bitter since she's been gallivanting around Europe with a bunch of lady golfers from her club, and I have been all by my lonesome for like a week. Not only that, but she's now been to Africa by taking a boat across the straight of Gibraltar to Morocco. If I weren't so insanely jealous, I'd be quite happy for her. I've never been to Africa. Not even once.

Luckily my friends have picked up the slack and kept me company. Though they apparently don't particularly like me, I guess they pity me. So that's something. My friends Jeffrika Bodestrada decided we should have brunch at Front Porch on Sunday on the recommendation of our buddy August, who was born in April. He's like this totally cool dude who goes to Mokai and stuff, so he knows his Miami stuff. I don't mean "Miami stuff" like it sounds. I mean stuff to do in Miami.

Front Porch used to be located in a smaller space, also on Ocean Drive, but now that the old something something restaurant closed down, it now occupies the porch and front floor of the Penguin Hotel maybe? It's either located at 1418 Ocean Drive, according to Google Maps, or 1458 Ocean Drive according to the restaurant website. Sigh, life is so hard some times #firstworldproblems. If you go to Ocean Drive, between 14th and 15th streets, I'm pretty sure you'll stumble upon it.

Though we had a 15-20 minute wait when we arrived, pretty short by Miami Beach brunch spot standards, once we were seated, the service was excellent. Our orders were taken immediately and drinks came in about 1 minute. Our food came out in what seemed to be 5 minutes. We were all surprised by the speedy service, so no matter how long it took, we know it was quick.

I ordered the Beach Breakfast Deluxe, which is the kind of thing I almost always order at brunch. It's a fantastic deal for such a great location. You get 3 eggs, toast, potatoes or tomatoes or fresh fruit or green salad, bacon or ham or sausage, and coffee AND juice for $12.75.

The only thing about which we could complain was that the table was a little crowded for 5 diners. We rectified this by putting a bunch of things on the nearby window ledge. We also proceeded to make "ledge" puns. "Living on the Ledge", "Heath Ledger", etc. Those weren't even the best ones, if you can believe it.

We were in a silly mood. Good times.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Eat It - The Little Lighthouse Foundation, Fancy Parking Garage, Miami Beach, FL

From Left: Lloyd Christmas, Harry Dunne, Disco Chick, Rambo First Blood Part II, Britney Spears, Her Bodyguard, Buzz Lightyear, Woody, Rockin' Rocker Who Rocks So Hard It Rocks
 
We went to the 2nd Annual Lighthouse Foundation Halloween party at the fancy bazillion dollar parking garage on Lincoln Road on Saturday, and the highlight was definitely the food. The venue was a much less interesting place to have a party than I was expecting. There wasn't really a good vibe in the huge concrete structure, which surprised me, because I park there when I visit my dentist, good ol' Dr. Shaw, and I love to look out from the top floor of the garage over South Beach. The views are spectacular.

Part of it is that, if you've ever worked construction, you'll know that standing on concrete for several hours is exhausting. It's because concrete is very strong in compression, so it doesn't give at all the way other materials do. It's not very strong in tension though, which is why rebar is used with concrete construction. It keeps the concrete from falling apart sideways. It didn't cross my mind until we arrived that this would be an issue. Sure enough, all of our little feetsies were very sore by the end of the night.

The other problem was that the acoustics were awful. You couldn't hear the music unless you were right in front of the dj, and there were very few speakers around the party area. That's pretty lame, and it turns out the reason is that the sound carries all over the neighborhood and the complaints start rolling in as soon as the party starts. By 1230am, at a party that was supposed to go until 2am, the music had been shut off. Music we could barely hear most of the night. So that pretty much sucked, and I find it unethical for a party venue to advertise that a party will go until 2am when they know the music's going to get shut off.

Good thing we had old trusty Buck 15 to go visit. The new one is further down Lincoln Road, right next to the New World Symphony sort-of-Frank-Gehry-designed building. It seems a little smaller, but it's actually bigger than the former venue above Miss Yip's. Will take some time to get used to, but I like it.

Back to the Lighthouse Foundation party. There were food and drink stations all over the place. The party organizers did a great job in that regard. The highlight of the highlight was the Rosa Mexicano table. They served their world famous guacamole, chips and a taco of cochinita pibil (marinated pork) and pickled onions. So delicious. Tiny bites of stuff really are the best. That's why the small plate movement is so awesome.


Fratelli La Bufala had lots of baked and fried appetizers with ham and mozarella. Great snacks for soaking up the booze.

One table had tiny polenta squares with a bite of filet mignon on top. That was a neat little snack. Don't remember the restaurant, though. Maybe the party website has a list of participating ones (yup, here it is). That would help.

And someone else had cups of mashed potatoes with post roast. That's pretty much the best thing you can serve as an appetizer. They also had some mediocre mac n' cheese. So, whoever you were serving that, you get a B as an average of the two grades.

The bars were quite adequate. I was expecting the lines to be outrageous, but they were short and quick. The servers did a great job that night. They didn't run out of anything I asked for, and they had a pretty cool Grey Goose vodka drink with cucumber and dry ice. As long as you didn't burn your fingers on it, it was a very cool, tasty and Halloweenie drink.

 






















So, the moral of the story is that the fancy parking garage is a crappy place for a party, even though you think it'd be totally awesome. The saving grace was that the food and drinks were good.

Happy Halloween, everybody!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Food Porn

There's a really interesting article in Sunday's New York Times about how food commercials are shot.

"'Lights. Roll. Action. Drip!' shouts Michael Somoroff, a veteran commercial director who has shot television ads for Red Lobster, Burger King, Papa John’s and dozens of other fast-food and casual-dining chains. A specialist in the little-known world of tabletop directing — named for the piece of furniture where most of the work is set — Mr. Somoroff is hired to turn the most mundane and fattening staples of the American diet into luscious objects of irresistible beauty.

"If you watch television, you’ve seen his work, and the work of the five or six other major players in this micro-niche of advertising. These men — yes, they’re all men — make glossy vignettes that star butter-soaked scallops and glistening burgers. Their cameras swirl around fried chicken, tunnel through devil’s food cake and gape as soft-serve cones levitate and spin."

Thursday, September 1, 2011

35 Bucks an Hour

That's not bad, Miami. Not bad at all. If you're looking to make a little extra dough on Sept 7 and 9, check this out -

The Miami-Dade County Elections Department is looking to hire Miami Beach residents for temporary jobs as poll worker during upcoming elections.

Several positions are available and those selected can earn up to $278 per election, the department said. The persons will work at voting centers throughout the city.
For those interested, there will be two poll worker recruitment meetings at Miami Beach City Hall on Sept. 7 and 9 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the first floor conference room. City hall is located at 1700 Convention Center Dr.

To apply, you must be a registered voter, be computer savvy, fluent in English and attend a paid training class. If you’re interested, contact Miami-Dade County Elections Department’s Poll Worker Section at 305-499-8448

Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/08/29/2380919/poll-workers-needed-on-miami-beach.html#ixzz1Wii9Rew0

Monday, August 29, 2011

Eat It - El Vato Tequila and Taco Bar, 1010 S Miami Ave Miami, FL 33130 (305) 523-2393

(This raght hea is a Chef BoyarAndy guest post. He's old school. He actually typed this up and then sent it as a telegram, which was translated to Morse Code which was carved into a clay tablet by stylus which then got turned into 1's and 0's by your humble and extremely handsome editor.)

www.elvatobar.com

It’s 8pm on Friday. You’re in Brickell. You’ve braved the crowds at Fado or Brickell
Irish Pub and you’re in the mood for Mexican food. You want homemade guac with
fresh chips. You want tasty tacos. You want real carnitas. You want fresh salsa.
You want a cool atmosphere with the option to sit outside.

Do you want to pay $15 or $50?

Since this is Miami, I’m sure there are plenty of people who want to pay $50. Those
people are too busy ironing their Ed Hardy shirts to read kick-ass blogs like this. [Editor's note: I hope you clicked the link. It's pretty awesome.]

You can get all those things you wanted at either Rosa Mexicana or El Vato, but only
one of them is the best bang for your buck in Brickell right now. [Editor's note: Not to be confused with the best boobs for your buck in Brickell, which would be Blue Martini.]

I do actually enjoy Rosa…there are some specialty items on the menu that you aren’t
going to find at El Vato. I just don’t see the value in a lot of the menu. The guac is
good…but it isn’t $14 good. You can easily spend like 80 bucks for a few margaritas and 2 orders of guac at Rosa before you've even sat down to eat. We only did that when Nevin Shapiro would take us out for dinner.

El Vato considers itself a tequila bar and, given that there are 50 or so options
to choose from, I’d say they are correct. They don’t have Pepe Lopez, though, which , ahem, anyone
who happened to be in Raleigh NC in the fall of 1998 will tell you turns the most sophisticated of bloggers into the hottest of falling down messes. They do have an excellent selection of premium tequilas though, if you’re the sipping type, like this guy, instead of the shooting type, like a guy whose name rhymes with Shmeff Shmoden.

Stop in, have a Modelo, some guac and a couple of tacos. Make sure you wash your
hands…both for proper hygiene, you dirty, dirty blog readers and to admire the
coolest sink in Miami (assuming you’re going in the men’s room…let’s face it, even if
you’re female nobody is going to stop you from going in the men’s room). Walk out
happy that you outsmarted the crowd waiting for a table at Rosa and that you saved
enough money to buy one cocktail at the Viceroy. [Editor's note: way to check out the potties, CBA. Important component of the dining experience. We pick on the Viceroy now? Um, okay!]

Bonus Math Question and Answer:

$20 ÷ $5 Weekday Happy Hour Margaritas

= Excellent Way to Totally Kill Your Productivity the Next Day

Thursday, August 25, 2011

skip it!


Eat It - Oliver's Bistro, 959 West Ave, Miami Beach, FL (305)535-3050

www.oliversmiamibeach.com

(305)535-3050! How great is that number? I'm so jealous. I'm stuck with a crappy, crappy 786 number because I'm a T-Mobile subscriber, and I must assume that powerful Jewish telecom businesspeople are getting retribution against the German company that provides my mobile phone "coverage" for the ills caused them during WWII. I'm using quotation marks because, if you're familiar with...what the? Why am I wasting my time writing about how crappy T-Mobile's coverage is? Everyone knows that already. If I'm standing under a palm tree, odds are I don't have a signal.

But their customer service is gang busters.

So, last week my girlfriend and I were at a launch party at the swank Mondrian Hotel for a new app called Shooger. It's pretty much going to make Groupon look like MySpace. For my younger readers, MySpace is where people used to hang out before Facebook. But after Friendster. Friendster was first. Ahhhh, Friendster, where did you go wrong?

Though it's totally pretentious and annoying and overpriced, I like that Mondrian. I took this pretty awesome photo with my Blackberry from the pool deck.


So after the sweet Shooger launch party, Renee and I decided we should get some grub. We've always wanted to try Oliver's, so in my fatalistic tone that women just love, I said "what if we get hit by a car on the way home or die in our sleep? Then we'll never have eaten at Oliver's and we've always wanted to."

Upon arriving on the block of West Ave. on which Oliver's is located, I noticed an ex-girlfriend dining with a young man and, finding the situation awkward, hustled by without saying hi. I don't know if she saw me. Kathryn, I'm sorry I didn't say hi. Amazing that we haven't run into each other in like 5 years when I usually can't go 3 hours without running into someone I know in Miami. I'm going to blame it on my debilitating immaturity.

After entering Oliver's, we were immediately greeted and shown to a table. It's a good sign when you're not standing around waiting for someone to help you, even at a little place like Oliver's.

To start, I ordered the Escargots in Sizzling Roquefort Garlic Butter (a reasonable $9.95) and Renee got a Caesar salad (the menu item is a dinner salad for $9.95 but you may order a starter portion for $6.95). She remarked that I couldn't eat escargot since I'm allergic to seafood, but I said "snails aren't seafood." But I'm wondering if they have some similar qualities as mollusks that live in the sea. I'm now realizing that I did have a mild reaction. Stupid seafood allergy affects me even when I'm not eating seafood! This is starting to become severely limiting for someone who likes to eat interesting stuff and then write about it. I will say that it makes ordering off the menu a lot easier. In many Florida restaurants I can ignore about half of the listed items. I can't eat anything at Bond St, so you guys are gonna have to hope that one of my junior guest writers wants to try it out.

Well, my Oliver's escargot might be the last time I eat those slimy little guys, so I'm disappointed I didn't enjoy them more. They were good, but not great. They arrived naked, which I found odd, especially since they gave me one of those tiny forks to scoop the snail meat out of the shell. But there was no shell. Just a plate of garlicky, oily snail bodies. They're accompanied by some rather greasy grilled herb bread. I think there's enough oil and stuff on the escargots that plain bread would be a nicer compliment.

Where do the snails even come from in an escargot dish? Do they just find those out on the sidewalk after it's rained? Kidding. As Richard Grieco said in A Night at the Roxbury, "I just don't want to be sued."

http://sfy.ru/?script=night_at_the_roxbury

I was planning to write "See? He did say that." Like Dr. Evil after a flashback. See? He did say "See? I did say that". Woh, I just got a little dizzy reading that. Alas, I could not find video evidence of the A Night at the Roxbury scene, other than on my DVD, of course. So I found a transcript and posted that instead. Internet, you've done it again!

For main courses, Renee had Potato Gnocchi, which must have been a special since it's not on the online menu. I unfortunately don't remember all of the ingredients but it was a playful little dish. Highly recommended. I was unable to refrain from sneaking bites throughout our meal. It was a sort of Primavera dish with light cream sauce and lots of fresh vegetables. At $14.95, it was also quite affordable. I ordered the Chili Lime Cilantro Chicken Breast. I was tempted to order schnitzel, but I wanted mashed potatoes, and the schnitzel's side was potato salad. I suppose I could have asked for them to substitute but I felt like eating healthy and avoided the fried schnitzel and opted for the grilled chicken breast. Great dish. Flavorful and juicy chicken with great mashed potatoes with sauteed corn and some very light cole slaw (so light, in fact, that Oliver's just calls it "cabbage"). My dish was $16.95.

The service? Fantastic. We had a wonderful, friendly, attentive waiter. Oliver's provided some of the best service I have experienced in South Florida. This place might just become a staple and I won't hesitate to recommend it to others, particularly my young adult contemporaries who don't want to pay through the nose every time they want to have a decent meal that isn't a hamburger. Seriously, enough with the new hamburger joints.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Don't Eat It - BF (Best Friends), 4770 Biscayne Blvd, Miami, FL (786)439-3999

www.bf1880.com

I hate to kick a place while it's down, but it just isn't worth eating at Best Friends. The menu says "Since 1880," but there's no back story or "About" section of the website, which I find dubious. Even if you've been around since 1880 in New England, where stuff still stands that was built in the 1600s, though not a huuuge deal, it still merits an explanation.

For someone to put 1880 on a menu in Miami, when people were duking it out with Tequesta Indians (I assume), chopping down mangroves with machetes, and clearing land to build our precious, precious golf courses, and not to explain the history seems "wicked bizzah." That's a little New England speak. Maybe I'm on a kick since Keegan Bradley just won the PGA Championship and he's an outspoken New Englander.

Best Friends occupies the former Luna Cafe space on Biscayne, just outside the Design District. It's one of those cursed spaces, I think. Luna was never very busy, and I suspect that the rent is too damn high. The surrounding neighborhood is pretty crappy. Have you been to the nearby Publix? It's my least favorite in all of Miami. I fear somewhat for my safety when I go there. That can't be good for business. Not for Publix and not for whatever restaurateur has the cojones to open up in that stretch of Biscayne.

The food is just plain old wood oven pizza and decent Italian salads. It's got no gimmick whatsoever, and I think that's the name of the game in today's restaurant landscape. Even if your gimmick is that you're old fashioned and timeless. This place is blah. The menus look like they were printed at Kinko's and the decor is nice I assume only because the Luna Cafe, Carpaccio, Bella Luna guys made it so. I'd be interested to see what the original Best Friends in South Miami is like. I don't plan to make a trip to see in person, though.

This post made me sad.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hubba Grubba

GrubHub is a brand new service that makes ordering food easy. It's been operating for a while in other markets like San Francisco and Seattle where people all ride bicycles and look like this.

Well, now that it's been perfected on those ugly people in the rest of the country, it's finally ready for the sexiest market in the U.S. It just launched, so the numbers will grow and grow until it's like the Facebook of food ordering website thingies.

GrubHub is offering users $10 off their first online order by visiting http://www.grubhub.com/MiamiSneakPeek. 

Happy Grubbing!

Who Wants Mustard?

I hope this post cuts the mustard. That's an odd expression, isn't it? Well, thanks to "the Internet," we don't have to wonder about it. From Wiktionary, whatever the hell that is -

Etymology

  • Probably from likening the pungency of the spice mustard as a superlative or as something that adds zest to a situation.
  • Possibly derived from the idiom 'to pass muster', an expression for assembling military troops for inspection.

[edit] Verb

to cut the mustard (third-person singular simple present cuts the mustard, present participle cutting the mustard, simple past and past participle cut the mustard)
  1. (idiomatic) To suffice; to be good or effective enough.
    Give me the bigger hammer. This little one just doesn't cut the mustard.

Point is, it's National Mustard Day on Saturday! Yaaaay! Oh joy of joys. Good thing you checked out Eat It, Miami or you might have missed out on all of the great Mustard Day festivities going on, well, everywhere!

People are gonna be putting mustard on crazy things like mint chocolate chip ice cream and filet mignon. They're gonna put it inside their shoes, just to squish around in it.

Anyone you see wearing yellow on Saturday - total Mustardaholic! You'd better go up to them and give them the National Mustard Day salute! You hold your hand up like you'd salute in the military, only you stick out your tongue and go PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLTTTTTTTT, like the sound it makes when you pour mustard out of a plastic squeeze bottle. It's most festive when you do the mustard salute right up close to the other person's face.

In case you forgot what your favorite brand of mustard is, it's National Deli Mustard. If you've never heard of it, you're just not as cool as I thought you were. You should probably move to cheesy Broward County and eat French's while you pump your fist in your Affliction t-shirt.

Wanna be reminded what a snazzy National Deli Mustard display will look like at your local grocery store?
 "NO COLIN, I WANT TO SEE AN EXTREME CLOSE-UP OF THIS MUSTARD!"
OK, you asked for it -
So, Broward County-dwelling, Affliction t-shirt wearer, I think I've convinced you to put National Deli Mustard on your mint chocolate chip ice cream on National Mustard Day, but if you're a wittle bit scared, why don't you go with something a little more conventional. Like this enormous hot dog with all of the fixin's.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Buy It, Miami



www.thejills.com

Why don't you want to buy my parents' old condo in Surfside? I ask very little of you, my dear readers, except for the occasional poetry contest entry or poll question. As you can see, "fancy ketchup" is barely edging out "regular ketchup." I definitely did not predict that. Especially not in Miami. You'd think people who drive $300,000 cars and get bottle service every night would prefer fancy ketchup to regular ketchup. Maybe the numbers are just skewed by my vast, international readership. I bet a lot people in like Southeast Asia and Subsaharan Africa just want some ketchup. They don't care if it's fancy or whatever. And maybe a hot shower. That'd be nice.

So, when you get a chance, please put in an offer on the above oceanfront penthouse. You gotta live somewhere, right?

Thursday, June 16, 2011

National Wiener Day Contest!

We have yet another contest going on here at Eat It, Miami, sponsored by National Deli for a chance to win a $10 Publix gift card, in honor of the resignation of Congressman Anthony Weiner, whose name should be pronounced "wine-er" according to its spelling, but here in America we pronounce things however we want, just 'cause. Think Dwyane (Dwane) Wade or Malivai (Ma-li-vi-a) Washington. Plaxico is pronounced "Plexico." It's usually black dudes who do that, but not in this case. The honorable gentleman from New York wishes us to pronounce it "wiener." So, wiener it is, and wiener it shall always be, since he totally set himself up for the easiest joke in the world to be made by late night television hosts across the country.
The "Wiener Day Contest" will be as follows:

1. Read all of this:

South Florida based, National Deli is now making it possible to enjoy the same premium hot dogs sold in stadiums and arenas across the country, at summer backyard [barbecues] and family gatherings.  The official sports area dogs are now available at Publix Super Markets throughout South Florida.
More than 200 Publix stores from Vero Beach to Miami are now carrying the locally made deli-style franks as well as their own line of all-natural Grade A mustard.  Both products are prepared to National Deli’s premium quality standards, giving customers an authentic deli experience without a premium price.

National Deli hot dogs are also the Official Hot Dog of the Hard Rock Live in Hollywood, Florida; the San Antonio Spurs; the Pittsburgh Pirates; the Denver Broncos; the Thomas & Mack Center at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas; Wet ‘N Wild Orlando; Roger Dean Stadium, home to Florida Marlins’ and St. Louis Cardinals’ spring training games; and in the most famous arena of all, New York City’s Madison Square Garden.

National Deli is the largest manufacturer of authentic premium deli meats in the country, and the largest supplier of deli meats to the world’s leading distributor. Known for its famous corned beef and pastrami, the company also offers a full line of premium quality meats, including 50 varieties of roast beef, several types of turkey breast, more than 100 different shapes and sizes of premium beef franks, and an extensive selection of prime rib and pot roast. National Deli’s mission is to provide superior customer service, consistent quality and innovative products that continue to appeal to their customer’s discerning palates.

2. Add us on twitter http://twitter.com/#!/EatItMiami

3. Do NOT send us a photo of your wiener. This step should be easy.

4. Tweet us the funniest expansion of an acronym that you can think of for WEINER or WIENER. An expansion is the spelled-out version of an acronym, like SCUBA's expansion would be "self-contained underwater breathing apparatus." Don't you just love your Eat It, Miami grammar lessons? So, here's an example: "When Everyone Is Naked Everyone Resigns." Or just post it in the comments section if you don't have a Twitter account and don't feel like setting one up. The "wiener" will win a $10 gift card for Publix so you can buy a pack of hot dogs and some buns.

Best. Blog. Ever.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Mmm, Bacon

Being a highly influential food blogger is a responsibility I shoulder with great pride. I'm kind of like a super hero.

But the job is not without its perks. I get invited to pretty cool events fairly regularly (like judging a cooking competition at the Cordon Bleu, amazing) and for some strange reason, I am now a credible, albeit somewhat anonymous, voice in the Miami restaurant scene. It's not like people would recognize me at a restaurant, because if they did, they wouldn't provide such terrible goddamned service, like the last time my girlfriend and I went to Balans in Mary Brickell Village and the waiter, who declined to write down our order, never brought our salad and forgot to put bacon on my US1 Burger. I was trying to be easy going about it, as one must be in the 305, lest one be driven mad by the pitiful service we are forced to endure at most area eateries. But this got me pissed off as I sat thinking about it. Either write that sh*t down and get my order correct, or don't freaking forget it. You're such a big shot that you don't write it down? Ok. Then don't f***ing forget the order, ok? Those are your choices. Forgetting and then apologizing doesn't really fix the situation. Ok? When people spend their hard-earned money at a restaurant, the least the server can do is to bring the food that the customer has ordered. Simply forgetting is unacceptable.

Back to bacon. That's a fun game. "Back to Bacon" a.k.a. "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" (sounds lame and lacks the alliteration of the former) is where you come up with an actor's name and you see how quickly you can figure out a movie that the actor or costar of that actor has been in with Kevin Bacon. Example: Christian Bale.

-Christian Bale was in American Psycho with Willem Dafoe
-Willem Dafoe was in Clear and Present Danger with Harrison Ford
-Harrison Ford was in Sabrina with Greg Kinnear
-Greg Kinnear was in As Good as It Gets with Jack Nicholson
-Jack Nicholson was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon

That was fun. You can probably just type it into some internet thingy. Let's try.

Ok, the internet is better at the game than I am. Christian Bale was in Batman Begins with Sarah Wateridge, someone so unfamous that there isn't even a photo of her on IMDB. Sarah Wateridge was in Where the Truth Lies, a movie that undoubtedly went straight to DVD, with Kevin Bacon. That title doesn't even make any sense.

And it wasn't nearly as much fun. See, that's the difference between using one's brain and just going to the internet for the easy, boring answer. I relived all of those movies as I wracked my brain for the answer. That life lesson's on me.

So, back to bacon. That makes me want to play again, but I'll be disciplined and address the task at hand, which is to tell you about an exciting new bacon product. I started this like 2 months ago, but since I am unable to keep the rent paid with this little gig here, I have other things that take priority and I often leave my posts unfinished, as amazing as they are. It's sad to think that some of my work languishes in the Purgatory that is "Drafts."

The product...is...

BaconAir

Ok, so if you click that link, you'll see that it goes not to a webpage where you may buy a product called BaconAir, but to the website of the dudes who emailed me about BaconAir. I must assume that I waited so long to tell you about it that the product is no longer being offered by J&D's. If only I had posted this sooner, we may have saved BaconAir. Instead, you'll have to be amused with the bacon-flavored envelopes called Mmmvelopes.

America is a great country. One in which bacon is delivered to the populace through various media. May God bless this bacon-obsessed country.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

First Eat It, Miami Survey Results

Are in! I have decided to end it today just because I got around to it after finishing some office work. Ssshhh, don't tell my dad (my boss).

The Most Overrated Ubiquitous Menu Item is..........

Fried Calamari, running away with 64% of the vote. A distant second was Bruschetta (18%), followed by Caprese Salad (11%), and Carpaccio (7%).  Those are all Italian for some reason. I suppose it's because Italian cuisine is so pervasive in the United States that it has become standard fare at American restaurants, whether they are Italian-themed or not. So, now you know that my readers think fried calamari is overrated, at least among ubiquitous menu items.

Next survey? I was planning to do "worst thing that can happen to you at a restaurant," but I'll save that because I thought of a much better one. Check out the widget on the right-hand side of the page for the new one. I hope you like it.

Please vote. If you don't, you'll die. At least according to P Diddy, and I think we can all agree that he's the smartest, most important person in the world, after Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, and the stars of Jerseylicious.

The End.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

EAT IT, MIAMI CONTEST!

I'm assuming a bunch of area food blogs have already done this, but I was off gallivanting around France with my girlfriend, which I bet those guys weren't doing, so there. I don't read anyone else's, so I have no idea. I do go back and read my old posts once in a while and laugh my ass off. I sure am funny, in my humble opinion.

Well, I have exciting stuff to share, dear readers. Restaurant.com, not to be confused with that lowly restaurants.com, which I hear gives your computer a nasty virus if you click on it (hee hee, kidding, restaurants.com lawyers!), wants me to come up with an awesome contest to win a free $25 gift certificate. I have 4 of them, so I guess that means we can have 4 winners.

(The local Miami Restaurant.com site is here)

So, let's see. How about you write a haiku and if it's not terrible, I'll give you one. And if you're a female reader, including a photo would probably not be the worst idea in the world, you know, to give you that little push over the top into contest windom. If you don't know what a haiku is, don't even look it up. You already lost.

And.......begin!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Eat It, Miami Went to France

This is called a Cezanne salad. He painted a lot in Aix-en-Provence, a city in the south of France we recently visited to attend the christening of my dear friend's son. As you can see, the grateful people of Aix honored their favorite son by naming their most delicious and ridiculous salad after him. It has quiche in it. Quiche. In the salad. Along with cured ham, goat cheese, parmesan, eggplant caviar, olive tapenade, and other standard stuff like tomatoes.

I made the mistake of ordering this as a starter, which is called an entree in France. And the waitress didn't even have the courtesy to put her hands on her cheeks and say "mon dieu, oh la la! Vous avez un appetit tres grand, n'est-ce pas?" She took my order for a rib eye with roast potatoes and mushrooms as my main plate. See, they aren't complete grammatical morons over in France, so "entree" actually means appetizer, unlike here, where entree means "main dish," which is really stupid because you can probably sound out the word and figure out what it means.

So, though I'm complaining about the fact that they allowed me to order so much food, my superhuman appetite and metabolism easily consumed both, along with the remaining half of my girlfriend's dish. I probably burned most of the calories by worrying about how I was going to eat all of that. And by the time I had stood up from the table, I almost passed out and had to quickly get to a boulangerie for a pain au chocolat.

In closing, France is totally awesome and the food is delicious. You should go there some time. It's a lot more interesting than Vegas, a place where you'd spend the same amount of money to visit, though they don't speak English over there and that might cause you to use your brain. God forbid.

This post has taken an anti-American turn, and that's unfortunate. Because I absolutely adore this country, even though a lot of people here are pretty lazy and stupid. But that's everywhere. Anyway, I just wrote a beautiful poem for my mother for Mother's Day that involves a rhyme that's pretty patriotic. Oh, you'd like to read it? Well, ok. Here goes -

Bad news, these tulips didn't come in a vase
Good news, Osama was shot in the face
Morbid for Mom's Day a bit maybe. 
But think of it this way if it cheers you up please. 
Sharia Law prob'ly outlaws Cesareans, 
Say all us whose mom's now a sexagenarian. 
4 bundles of joy just a thought, they'd say.
If mean ol' Bin Laden had had it his way. 
We've come to a conclusion, you wanna know what?
__________ can kiss all our skinny white butts!


So, to all the mothers out there. Happy Mother's Day from Eat It, Miami. If you're a ______, please don't be so offended that you have to prove to me that _____ is the religion of peace by threatening to cut my head off. Thank you.

God bless you, dear readers.

And may God bless America.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Eat It, Boston

Eat It, Boston is now live. I hope that my Beantown buddies will check it out. If you want to contribute, like my man Angus Beef III, holla atcha boy.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Taste of Brickell Banner

Just to allay any fears you may have had, dear readers, we have just this very moment received corrected html for the banner above. It now takes you directly to the Taste of Brickell website where you will feel compelled to buy many, many tickets to the event. I'm slightly distracted by footage of Kirstie Alley's dancing to "Forget You" on Dancing with the Stars, which is featured on the Pinheads & Patriots segment of the O'Reilly Factor. I always watch the 11pm replay. 8 is too early for me. I'm quite the night owl, don't you know. I'm thinking she'll probably get around 58% Pinhead, 42% Patriot. O'Reilly watchers probably aren't crazy about her, but she did a pretty darn good job of it, especially considering her challenges with keeping her weight down. Poor thing. So, tune in tomorrow night to see how our prediction fared! And go to the Taste of Brickell on Saturday.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Eat It - Taste of Brickell Food & Wine Festival, 1201 Brickell Bay Drive, Miami, FL

Since the banner they sent me doesn't link to the site, I'm putting it right here in the body of a post -

http://www.tasteofbrickell.com/event-details/

I could probably learn enough html to make the banner do just that, but I'm lazy and I don't feel like it. I think we've gone over the fact that this is MY blog and I shall run it how I please. Moving along.

Brickell's Food Fest should be slightly less of a you-know-what-show than the South Beach Wine & Food Festival. The latter's emphasis on "wine" is quite evident in the drunkenness of festival attendees. SoBe Ca$h Money a.k.a. South Beach Phantom Gourmet a.k.a. Dr. RidiQlis and I saw a young lady who became so inebriated while attending the South Beach event that she was unable to control her bladder before arriving at the restroom. Oh my.

The Taste of Brickell FOOD & Wine Festival should be a good time, with weather forecast to be gorgeous. It's only 5 bucks for general admission and 25 for VIP admission (which includes drinks and food), so it's a pretty cheap way to spend a Saturday in the 305.

I'll be making a quick stop by and I'll likely be wearing a tie. I'm a poet, and blah blah blah.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Eat It - Miami Beach Garden Tour (THIS SATURDAY 3/19)

http://mbgarden.org/

Miami Beach residents! Do you feel deprived because you are unable to enjoy the wonder that is eating from a truck out in the street? For some reason, it's fun. It just is. Like overpaying for an ice cream novelty from a truck. It's exhilarating. Especially if you're some dumb kid. Or buying a beer at a beer truck. I'm sure those exist somewhere and I'm sure it's totally awesome. Don't they have beer trucks at country music concerts? I'm pretty sure they do.

I was hoping to enjoy some Cheeseme on Saturday night in Wynwood during Gallery Walk, but all of the hipsters in their flannel shirts and dark rimmed glasses had clogged the lines and rendered the waiting times up to 15-20 minutes. I had no patience for such terrible service. Truck food should be served in like a minute. Maybe 2. You think these trucks would survive in New York?

Back to those damn, dirty hipsters. They were also wearing skinny black jeans and Chuck Taylor's and they had mussy hair capped off with pork pie hats, too. And you know what else? They were talking about how Obama is waaaaay too conservative. And also how veganism is really weak and that you shouldn't eat anything that comes from the earth because that's like totally exploitative man. So, I don't know where they get their food from. I think I just said that they eat at food trucks. Forget that part.

Well the rest of us red-blooded Reaganites who listen to country music and eat apple pie and McDonald's should all go and get tickets to my angelic mother's brainchild, The Miami Beach Botanical Garden's 10th Annual Miami Beach Garden Tour. Somehow, through her unsurpassed sweetness I assume, she has convinced Miami Beach millionaire after millionaire to open up his or her house to the public for the purpose of raising funds to support South Beach's botanical haven from the madness and nightclubbing. If you're European, a nightclub is American for "Discoteque." The gardens you will see are spectacular. (There was even one on Indian Creek Island one time!)

Tickets may be procured he-a, for 25 smackers. They're 30 bucks on Saturday. And even if you don't buy a ticket, which means you won't be able to view the homes, you can still go to the Garden and enjoy the following food trucks (which is awesome because they're not allowed on Miami Beach, but will be on the grounds of the Garden):

DIM SSÄM À GOGO CHEESEME                JEFE'S ORIGINAL FISH   TACO & BURGERS                CHEF ON 4 WHEELS      MISO HUNGRY              DOLCI PECCATI GELATO


Thats was literally copied and pasted from the website. I think they might want to look into a new web/graphic designer. Just sayin'.

See you at the Garden!

Awesome! (I just got home from celebrating St. Patrick's Day, in case you couldn't tell. I'm sleepy/hungry.)

Monday, March 14, 2011

Cómetelo - Taqueira Mercadito Midtown, 3252 NE First Avenue Miami, FL (786)369-0430


Bienvenidos, mis queridos lectores, al episodio hispano de Eat It, Miami. Si tú eres puro gringo, puedes copiar todo esto y ponerlo en Google Translate. Es una porquería, pero algo es algo.

Anoche, mi bella novia y yo fuimos, después del súper, pero súper fantástico torneo de golf en Doral, al restaurancito al lado de Mercadito, que se llama simplemente Taquería.

Que maravilla!

El servicio: como en México, donde se dice, "si no vives para servir, no sirves para vivir." Entonces, el servicio Mexicano es sin paralelo. Quizás solo en Asia se puede encontrar servicio tan bueno. Entonces, no es sin paralelo literalmente, pero en este hemisferio, quizás. Es obvio que los trabajadores de Taquería dan mucha atención al servicio y a sus clientes. Y eso no es el costumbre en Miami. Duh.

Pedimos una orden de guacamole y dos ordenes de tres tacos. El guacamole encontré con demasiada cebolla, pero, de todos modos, bueno. Fresco, con grandes trozos de aguacate. Cuesta cinco dólares con muchos chips.

Los tacos, hechos con tortillas de maíz (no de harina, que no se hace en México), son muy auténticos. Pedimos de pollo, al pastor, y de carne. Y los precios son buenos. Tres tacos cuestan nueve dólares, mejor que en el restaurante principal donde cuestan $14.50 cuatro tacos.

Precios, calidad, ambiente, servicio: todos muy buenos.

¡No me puedo quejar de nada más que la cebolla en el guacamole! Ay ay ay, que lastima...