Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

As I've said before, my readership is vast, and so I wield a mighty pen whose inkwell is literally filled with influence from which powerful prose flows like the beer that flows like wine in Aspen. Except that I type my reviews with a keyboard, so that's just a metaphor.

And so it is with great fanfare that I announce to you that some production company I've never heard of wrote to me to announce a new reality show that sounds like a very narrow version of The Apprentice, and whose title is fortunately categorized as "working." Because it needs a lot of work.

United Plates of America sounds like, uh...huh? What do you think of when you hear that title? Stare off in the distance for like 10 seconds and picture it. Now I'll tell you what it is -

Do you have an idea for America’s next great restaurant? Are you sitting on a billion dollar concept? If you think your restaurant idea has what it takes to go national and bring in millions of hungry Americans, read on...

From NBC and Magical Elves, the Emmy Award-nominated producers of "Project Runway" and "Top Chef," comes a big-event competition that will award one contestant the opportunity to see their idea turned into reality with a new restaurant chain opened in four cities across America! The contestants' fate will be decided by a panel of some of the most important names in both the dining and business worlds that will invest their own money in the final restaurant chain and have a huge stake in the ongoing success of the game's winner.

The show sounds pretty cool, as a matter of fact. Hey yous guys who started cheesme, I'm looking at you. You should, like, totally apply, though the application is 20 pages and cheesme's chef told me that anyone who ends up on a reality show is not a real chef and is more concerned with fame than preparing delicious food. Hey, that's America, baby!

More info can be found here.

On a side note, I typed the show's working title into Google News and this article popped up in the search results. It's obnoxious, condescending, witty and accurate, all at the same time, and written by the editor of GQ, a Brit.

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