Monday, November 9, 2009

Eat It - Jaxson's Ice Cream Parlor, 128 S Federal Hwy, Dania, FL (954) 923-4445‎

www.jaxsonsicecream.com

This is a text I sent just after leaving Jaxson's -

"I almost finished the root beer float and I think I'm going to die. I'm leaving you my copy of American Psycho."

I was obviously delusional because I plan on being cremated with my copy of American Psycho.

Anyway, Jaxson's is famous, I guess. I hadn't heard of it, but when you arrive, there's a line to get in the door and there are cheesy signs all over about how the restaurant has been featured on the Food Network and in Zagat's, blah blah blah. That suggested to me that it would be a tourist trap, but it's really worth checking out.

The smallest portion of ice cream that one can order is 2 scoops. These are no ordinary scoops of ice cream. Oh no. They are slightly less than a pint each and the ice cream, made at the restaurant daily, is extremely rich and creamy.

So, as you read earlier, I had a root beer float. Jaxson's is served in one of those mini pitchers and it has probably a pint of ice cream in it, topped with about 2 cups of whipped cream. It's placed in a large metal bowl because it's virtually impossible not to spill some of it.

If you're ever in the mood for a root beer float, I suggest going to Jaxson's before you've eaten anything. I made the mistake of going there for dessert, after brunch. I eat a lot. I'm skinny, but I eat at least twice as much as most normal people. I felt like I was going to pop after consuming about half of my float. By the time I got down near the bottom, I was pausing between bites, hoping against hope that I would finish. I decided I did not want to throw up in the restaurant, though I'm fairly certain that's happened before.

I'm imagining what a Barton G root beer float might look like. I guess it would probably be called the "Root Beer Float Your Boat" and it would be exactly like any other root beer float you've ever seen in your life except that it has a tiny sailboat in it and it costs $85. Plus, when you notice the cute little toy boat and remark to your fellow diners "Oh hey, a tiny sailboat! How clever!," the waiter runs over to your table and informs you that it would be more accurately described as a "schooner" since it has two masts, and also that you shouldn't have worn white since it's after Labor Day. God I hate that place.

But Jaxson's is cool. Go there. Oh, I almost forgot. It's not cheap. The sundaes cost like 15 bucks but they're huuuuuuuge. The float costs $9.

*THIS POST NOW ENHANCED WITH PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF -

10 comments:

SuperBee said...

I have a $50.00 gift certificate to Jaxon's that I won at a charity auction. Maybe, if you promise not to drunkenly make out with me again, I'll let you come when I spend it...

Colin said...

Ok, I promise. I really need to start moderating these comments...

Daniel said...

I like the Barton G. comment...lol...

Frodnesor said...

That Barton G line just got you a new reader!

SteveBM said...

Nice post haha. Good meeting you last night too. The Barton G line was classic!

Peter B., J said...

I dont get your hatred of Barton G. That place is, by far, the BEST restaurant in Miami. I love the banana split with the chimpanzees. So clever.

SOH said...

Out of curiosity, are you referring to the American Psycho novel or dvd?

SOH said...

Also, I know who you are peter b.

Do you know that I have friends who have gone to Barton G and liked it so much that went back the very next night? Hearing this caused me to bring up the "Eat It, Miami" Barton G review and read it aloud, this of course made me more upset.

My wife still wants to try it.

Tim said...

For anyone wanting to know what's going on over at Barton G - check out this link:

http://miami.everyblock.com/restaurant-inspections/by-date/2009/11/13/318410/#comments

Colin said...

SOH, the DVD is technically yours, so it's not really mine to bequeath. I suppose that means that I meant "the novel."