Everybody likes pizza. EVERYBODY. To not like pizza is basically the same as saying that you don't like sunsets or laughing or hot chicks wearing leggings out in public. I seriously cannot stress how awesome it is to live in an age in which this is considered socially acceptable. For the record, it is totally awesome.
Back to pizza. I love pizza. All kinds of pizza. I like really fancy pizza that comes out of a brick oven and has pine nuts and arugula on it. I love crappy plain old cheese pizza with canned sauce that you get at a bowling alley. I even love fake pizzas like the ones at California Pizza Kitchen with toppings that are meant to go in a sandwich, like mayonnaise.
You have to wonder about a pizza that cannot be saved and put in the fridge. That's why you should eat the whole thing. And I never leave the crust. I consider that a sin. If you leave the crust, you clearly were never given the "children starving in Africa" speech when you were a kid. Do parents still do that? I know that a lot has changed over the years. When I was a kid, we made a lot of Ethiopian jokes. I don't think they're considered as poor as they used to be.
But back then, when Reagan was president, it was de rigueur for rock band members to perm their hair, station wagons had wood paneling on the sides, sneakers had velcro straps, and kids made jokes about people starving in Africa. That seems wrong now that I look back on it. But we were so young then. We didn't know any better. And history seems doomed to repeat itself as the colors become more neon with each passing day. Thanks a lot, Kanye.
I believe we were talking about pizza(!). I recently dined with my good friend Andreas at Sosta on Lincoln Road. We have known each other for a long time, so we are comfortable enough to share food. We shared the oddly named Batman salad, which is what-I-thought-to-be-arugula-but-is-actually-baby-spinach with walnuts, deliciously soft goat cheese, tomatoes and a light dressing. Holy stupid name for a delicious salad!
We then split a Sosta pizza which has "sundried tomato spreads" (which is I think a tomato sauce made of sundried tomatoes), mozzarella, burrata, and prosciutto. It's really good. They wouldn't put the restaurant's name on this pizza if they didn't have full confidence in it.
So, pretty good meal for a good price on Lincoln Road (25 bucks each with tip and one drink). Can't complain about that. Plus, we always need more pizza places! Attention restaurateurs of the world: Miami also needs more burger places, more expensive steak houses and more tourist-trap Italian restaurants.
Other pizza places I love are basically everywhere you look, but I'll point out that I really like Piola, Spris, Carpaccio (Bal Harbour) and Casola's in the Grove. Or maybe it's technically in the Gables. It's off of US-1 and you can eat pizza there while you're waiting for your pizza. Is that as American as apple pie or what?
http://www.sostapizzeria.com/
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
5K
I know that Matt Drudge gets 5,000 visits every nanosecond, but I'm mildly excited to announce that whoever was looking for a review of Tokyo Bowl on Washington Ave is my 5,000th visitor. Apparently they've opened on South Beach somehow. The Yakuza is presumably providing the start-up yen.
Congratulations, bellsouth.net so-and-so. You win a lifetime free membership to Eat It, Miami, which is free.*
Please stay tuned for an actual restaurant review. I'm eating at a new place tonight and I'm hoping the experience is noteworthy. Sometimes there just isn't much interesting to write, so I don't bother. I guess I really should review every place that I eat, but hey, I'm kind of lazy.
*Please note that I am just being my usual hilarious self and that there is no actual prize. 94% of my college-educated friends have law degrees and several of them also have MBAs, so don't test my ability to obtain free counsel, which I would prefer not to obtain. I'm already expecting to be sued by a couple of places of which I tend to be quite critical. I'll give you a hint. One rhymes with Fart 'n Pee and the other with Gassy O'...whatever. You know about whom I speak.
Congratulations, bellsouth.net so-and-so. You win a lifetime free membership to Eat It, Miami, which is free.*
Please stay tuned for an actual restaurant review. I'm eating at a new place tonight and I'm hoping the experience is noteworthy. Sometimes there just isn't much interesting to write, so I don't bother. I guess I really should review every place that I eat, but hey, I'm kind of lazy.
*Please note that I am just being my usual hilarious self and that there is no actual prize. 94% of my college-educated friends have law degrees and several of them also have MBAs, so don't test my ability to obtain free counsel, which I would prefer not to obtain. I'm already expecting to be sued by a couple of places of which I tend to be quite critical. I'll give you a hint. One rhymes with Fart 'n Pee and the other with Gassy O'...whatever. You know about whom I speak.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Extra! Extra! Read All About It!
As I've said before, my readership is vast, and so I wield a mighty pen whose inkwell is literally filled with influence from which powerful prose flows like the beer that flows like wine in Aspen. Except that I type my reviews with a keyboard, so that's just a metaphor.
And so it is with great fanfare that I announce to you that some production company I've never heard of wrote to me to announce a new reality show that sounds like a very narrow version of The Apprentice, and whose title is fortunately categorized as "working." Because it needs a lot of work.
United Plates of America sounds like, uh...huh? What do you think of when you hear that title? Stare off in the distance for like 10 seconds and picture it. Now I'll tell you what it is -
Do you have an idea for America’s next great restaurant? Are you sitting on a billion dollar concept? If you think your restaurant idea has what it takes to go national and bring in millions of hungry Americans, read on...
From NBC and Magical Elves, the Emmy Award-nominated producers of "Project Runway" and "Top Chef," comes a big-event competition that will award one contestant the opportunity to see their idea turned into reality with a new restaurant chain opened in four cities across America! The contestants' fate will be decided by a panel of some of the most important names in both the dining and business worlds that will invest their own money in the final restaurant chain and have a huge stake in the ongoing success of the game's winner.
The show sounds pretty cool, as a matter of fact. Hey yous guys who started cheesme, I'm looking at you. You should, like, totally apply, though the application is 20 pages and cheesme's chef told me that anyone who ends up on a reality show is not a real chef and is more concerned with fame than preparing delicious food. Hey, that's America, baby!
More info can be found here.
On a side note, I typed the show's working title into Google News and this article popped up in the search results. It's obnoxious, condescending, witty and accurate, all at the same time, and written by the editor of GQ, a Brit.
And so it is with great fanfare that I announce to you that some production company I've never heard of wrote to me to announce a new reality show that sounds like a very narrow version of The Apprentice, and whose title is fortunately categorized as "working." Because it needs a lot of work.
United Plates of America sounds like, uh...huh? What do you think of when you hear that title? Stare off in the distance for like 10 seconds and picture it. Now I'll tell you what it is -
Do you have an idea for America’s next great restaurant? Are you sitting on a billion dollar concept? If you think your restaurant idea has what it takes to go national and bring in millions of hungry Americans, read on...
From NBC and Magical Elves, the Emmy Award-nominated producers of "Project Runway" and "Top Chef," comes a big-event competition that will award one contestant the opportunity to see their idea turned into reality with a new restaurant chain opened in four cities across America! The contestants' fate will be decided by a panel of some of the most important names in both the dining and business worlds that will invest their own money in the final restaurant chain and have a huge stake in the ongoing success of the game's winner.
The show sounds pretty cool, as a matter of fact. Hey yous guys who started cheesme, I'm looking at you. You should, like, totally apply, though the application is 20 pages and cheesme's chef told me that anyone who ends up on a reality show is not a real chef and is more concerned with fame than preparing delicious food. Hey, that's America, baby!
More info can be found here.
On a side note, I typed the show's working title into Google News and this article popped up in the search results. It's obnoxious, condescending, witty and accurate, all at the same time, and written by the editor of GQ, a Brit.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Eat It - Lost & Found Saloon, 185 NW 36th St, Miami, FL (305)576-1008
http://www.thelostandfoundsaloon-miami.com/
Hmm, where are my notes from my dinner at Lost & Found? I could swear they were somewhere on my desk, but it's cluttered with paperwork. I seem to have LOST them. Oh wait, here they are. I FOUND them.
That's seriously how I'm starting this review? Yes. Yes it is.
I didn't know this place existed until recently, probably because I usually spend about half a block on 36th Street before I turn onto Biscayne. When I do venture further, it's to get to Target and I don't really look around. I didn't think there was anything worth looking for and that's not the spot where I go for prostitutes. I prefer NoBe hos. I'd like to think that's what they call 'em around 79th Street.
L&F is pretty popular, it seems to me. We had to wait for a table and there were some regulars next to us at the bar who ordered the most beautiful nachos I've ever seen, and were eager to talk about what seems to be their favorite place. They told me that they go to L&F every Sunday...and it was Friday.
Said nachos cost $8.25, and much the way there are add-ons at ice cream shops, L&F has those for their menu items, but instead of Heath Bars and Reece's Pieces, they have Pulled Pork and Grilled Marinated "Portabello" Mushrooms. I think it's supposed to be "Portobello" or "Portabella." Whatever. I like seeing typos and grammar mistakes because they make me feel smart. Anyway, add-ons for the nachos are $4 and holy cow, it would be plenty of food for an entire meal, I assure you. The add-on price varies depending on the dish.
While waiting for our table we ordered a half rack of ribs. Truly excellent and we wished we had ordered a full one, though we would then not be as hungry for/satisfied by our main courses. We all ordered various versions of the tacos, which are delicious.
They carry some good, interesting beers. There's a blueberry one that reminds me of one of my favorites in Boston, Boston Beer Works' blueberry beer that has floating blueberries in it. They're both delish. The one at Lost & Found is called Sea Dog and they just love it when you order by squinting one eye and going "Yar, Serving Wench! I'll have me a Sea Dog." If you actually did that, they would probably just stare at you. I think the people who work there smoke tons of pot. You can tell because they wear flannel shirts and dark rimmed glasses. And also because the service is awful.
So, we come to the imperfect nature of Lost & Found Saloon. The food and beers are excellent, but it took a really long time for someone to take our drink order at the bar and then our main dishes came out over the course of 45 minutes. Seriously. The first of the three diners was finished eating (we insisted that he start) before the third and final one of us was even served. Plus, even though our server assured us that she would remember our varying meat and tortilla choices and didn't write our order down, she messed them up. That's just stupid and unprofessional.
That is some seriously abysmal service. I don't know what the excuse is, but that's something they need to rectify if they expect to be a successful restaurant. I'll have to go back and FIND out if they've LOST that nasty aspect of the dining experience. Now that I've written this down, I'm actually feeling irritated about it. Maybe I don't want to go back. No, yes I do.
Sweet.
Hmm, where are my notes from my dinner at Lost & Found? I could swear they were somewhere on my desk, but it's cluttered with paperwork. I seem to have LOST them. Oh wait, here they are. I FOUND them.
That's seriously how I'm starting this review? Yes. Yes it is.
I didn't know this place existed until recently, probably because I usually spend about half a block on 36th Street before I turn onto Biscayne. When I do venture further, it's to get to Target and I don't really look around. I didn't think there was anything worth looking for and that's not the spot where I go for prostitutes. I prefer NoBe hos. I'd like to think that's what they call 'em around 79th Street.
L&F is pretty popular, it seems to me. We had to wait for a table and there were some regulars next to us at the bar who ordered the most beautiful nachos I've ever seen, and were eager to talk about what seems to be their favorite place. They told me that they go to L&F every Sunday...and it was Friday.
Said nachos cost $8.25, and much the way there are add-ons at ice cream shops, L&F has those for their menu items, but instead of Heath Bars and Reece's Pieces, they have Pulled Pork and Grilled Marinated "Portabello" Mushrooms. I think it's supposed to be "Portobello" or "Portabella." Whatever. I like seeing typos and grammar mistakes because they make me feel smart. Anyway, add-ons for the nachos are $4 and holy cow, it would be plenty of food for an entire meal, I assure you. The add-on price varies depending on the dish.
While waiting for our table we ordered a half rack of ribs. Truly excellent and we wished we had ordered a full one, though we would then not be as hungry for/satisfied by our main courses. We all ordered various versions of the tacos, which are delicious.
They carry some good, interesting beers. There's a blueberry one that reminds me of one of my favorites in Boston, Boston Beer Works' blueberry beer that has floating blueberries in it. They're both delish. The one at Lost & Found is called Sea Dog and they just love it when you order by squinting one eye and going "Yar, Serving Wench! I'll have me a Sea Dog." If you actually did that, they would probably just stare at you. I think the people who work there smoke tons of pot. You can tell because they wear flannel shirts and dark rimmed glasses. And also because the service is awful.
So, we come to the imperfect nature of Lost & Found Saloon. The food and beers are excellent, but it took a really long time for someone to take our drink order at the bar and then our main dishes came out over the course of 45 minutes. Seriously. The first of the three diners was finished eating (we insisted that he start) before the third and final one of us was even served. Plus, even though our server assured us that she would remember our varying meat and tortilla choices and didn't write our order down, she messed them up. That's just stupid and unprofessional.
That is some seriously abysmal service. I don't know what the excuse is, but that's something they need to rectify if they expect to be a successful restaurant. I'll have to go back and FIND out if they've LOST that nasty aspect of the dining experience. Now that I've written this down, I'm actually feeling irritated about it. Maybe I don't want to go back. No, yes I do.
Sweet.
Friday, February 5, 2010
50 McNuggets for $9.99
Oh boy, from 2/5 to 2/7, noon to midnight, you can get 50 McDonald's McNuggets for $9.99. That is one hell of a deal. I'm expecting families to be eating nothing but, all weekend.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Jaxson's Root Beer Redux
My good buddy, Nicky R, flew into Ft. Lauderdale from Beantown on Saturday, so I says to myself, I says, "we should swing by Dania Jai Alai and then grab a light snack at Jaxson's Ice Cream, just down the road.
Well, since I'm obviously a glutton and a buffoon, I decided that a root beer float would not be enough to sate my appetite, even though I felt as if I was going to die the last time I tried to finish one. Anyhoo, on top of the root beer floats we each ordered, Nick got a side of garlic fries, which I'm certain he can still taste, and I ordered some chili fries. I'm a sucker for chili fries.
Well, I might have had a chance at finishing my float, since I decided to consume as much of it as possible before the fries arrived, but lo and behold, the powers that be (Satan, obviously runs the place) decided that the root beer float, so large it is served in a pitcher, needs a side of root beer. I don't really know what else to say. Here's a photo (in which you can glimpse my freaky hitchhiker thumbs and snazzy new purple pin stripe shirt from Brooks Brothers. Purple is such a hot color these days. Also note the size of a "side" of fries at Jaxson's. Ha!) -
Well, since I'm obviously a glutton and a buffoon, I decided that a root beer float would not be enough to sate my appetite, even though I felt as if I was going to die the last time I tried to finish one. Anyhoo, on top of the root beer floats we each ordered, Nick got a side of garlic fries, which I'm certain he can still taste, and I ordered some chili fries. I'm a sucker for chili fries.
Well, I might have had a chance at finishing my float, since I decided to consume as much of it as possible before the fries arrived, but lo and behold, the powers that be (Satan, obviously runs the place) decided that the root beer float, so large it is served in a pitcher, needs a side of root beer. I don't really know what else to say. Here's a photo (in which you can glimpse my freaky hitchhiker thumbs and snazzy new purple pin stripe shirt from Brooks Brothers. Purple is such a hot color these days. Also note the size of a "side" of fries at Jaxson's. Ha!) -
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Le Big Mac et Royal Cheese
Big Macs and Quarter Pounders are "buy one, get one for a penny" today. I think. I saw it somewhere and put it in my Blackberry and that thing would never lie to me. Would you, BB? No, you wouldn't. That's why I love you so. Please, never leave me.
I'm not quite sure why they don't just make them "buy one, get one free." Is it a legal thing? Maybe it's a way they can avoid getting berated for causing the obesity epidemic because people can't use their brains and exercise some self-control when they eat and 2-for-1 Big Macs is too tempting for a corpulent customer to pass up. Thanks, Morgan Spurlock or Sperlock, or whatever your name is. Thanks for the brilliant insight that eating McDonald's every meal is bad for you. Why doesn't someone do that with Kentucky Fried Chicken or Pizza Hut or Taco Bell or Dunkin Donuts...could it be that "Super Size Me" was a clever title? I'm sorry it worked and now he's (kind of a little bit) famous. Hey America, let's keep rewarding people for unnoteworthy (yes, that's a word) achievements by turning them into celebrities and paying them to host New Year's Eve parties and start their own clothing lines. Agreed? Super.
Here's that clip from Pulp Fiction -
I'm not quite sure why they don't just make them "buy one, get one free." Is it a legal thing? Maybe it's a way they can avoid getting berated for causing the obesity epidemic because people can't use their brains and exercise some self-control when they eat and 2-for-1 Big Macs is too tempting for a corpulent customer to pass up. Thanks, Morgan Spurlock or Sperlock, or whatever your name is. Thanks for the brilliant insight that eating McDonald's every meal is bad for you. Why doesn't someone do that with Kentucky Fried Chicken or Pizza Hut or Taco Bell or Dunkin Donuts...could it be that "Super Size Me" was a clever title? I'm sorry it worked and now he's (kind of a little bit) famous. Hey America, let's keep rewarding people for unnoteworthy (yes, that's a word) achievements by turning them into celebrities and paying them to host New Year's Eve parties and start their own clothing lines. Agreed? Super.
Here's that clip from Pulp Fiction -
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Eat It - Salsa Fiesta, 2929 Biscayne Blvd, Miami, FL (305)400-8245
www.salsafiestagrill.com
Wow, Salsa Fiesta is probably the worst name you could give a (Mexican) restaurant. As Bart Simpson replied to Lisa after she said "a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet."-
"Not if they were called stink blossoms."
Plus, if you say it in English, it sounds ridiculous. Sauce Party. That's a pretty strange name for a restaurant.
The subtitle or description or whatever is "Urban Mexican Grill." Where did the restaurant originate, you'd like to know? Venezuela. Only the staff told me that it's described as a "Fresh Mexican Grill" in Chavez country. I guess that's probably like Fresho Mexicano Grillo in Spanish or something.
It's basically the same thing as Lime, but there's only one Miami/U.S. location so far. The food is good and the prices are very good. You can stuff yourself for about $10. Presentation is great. Service is quick and cheerful and the restaurant is spotless. Even the bathroom is nice and the restaurant's decor is kind of like a cool loft apartment. Perfect for the up and coming Biscayne corridor. The last time I went there were several gay couples there, so you know it's cool. Those guys are so hip.
Wow, Salsa Fiesta is probably the worst name you could give a (Mexican) restaurant. As Bart Simpson replied to Lisa after she said "a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet."-
"Not if they were called stink blossoms."
Plus, if you say it in English, it sounds ridiculous. Sauce Party. That's a pretty strange name for a restaurant.
The subtitle or description or whatever is "Urban Mexican Grill." Where did the restaurant originate, you'd like to know? Venezuela. Only the staff told me that it's described as a "Fresh Mexican Grill" in Chavez country. I guess that's probably like Fresho Mexicano Grillo in Spanish or something.
It's basically the same thing as Lime, but there's only one Miami/U.S. location so far. The food is good and the prices are very good. You can stuff yourself for about $10. Presentation is great. Service is quick and cheerful and the restaurant is spotless. Even the bathroom is nice and the restaurant's decor is kind of like a cool loft apartment. Perfect for the up and coming Biscayne corridor. The last time I went there were several gay couples there, so you know it's cool. Those guys are so hip.
Monday, January 4, 2010
FWO
That stands for "F--- Waxy O'Connor's."
This is a reader comment that I have decided to repost -
hello Colin
this is the anonymous :) my name is jessy
contact jesvinagre@hotmail.com
not anonymous anymore...lol.
the answer to your question is "no way they compensated me for anything ",i have the case in court right now .i asked the towing company guy if he thinks this is right and he said no and advice me to go back to the bar and tell the bar manager to advice costumers about a permit paper to be put on dashboard.i had no idea of this paper cause is not posted anywhere in the bar and nobody told me either.also and most important they have signs all over the parking lot saying you can park up to 6 pm ...BUT IT IS A LIE ....they make more then 8 000 dollars a month towing cars. also be careful cause the towing company will put the wrong address on the receipt ,the scam is they illegally tow your car and write the wrong address so people like me have to prove the car was really parked there.
my case is in court right now.on the pre-trial they offer me and the manager mediation(we did not accept so we are going to trial) and the judge that heard my side already asked manager "Why would they have signs (parking for waxys from 8 am to 6 pm)on the parking lot . she sounded like she was on my side but now they saying my car was parked someplace else ,i cant believe they would actually get away with that lie...but we will see soon .
it will probably help if i get some signatures of people that had this happening to them ...
so if this happened to anyone please contact me at jesvinagre@hotmail.com
This is a reader comment that I have decided to repost -
hello Colin
this is the anonymous :) my name is jessy
contact jesvinagre@hotmail.com
not anonymous anymore...lol.
the answer to your question is "no way they compensated me for anything ",i have the case in court right now .i asked the towing company guy if he thinks this is right and he said no and advice me to go back to the bar and tell the bar manager to advice costumers about a permit paper to be put on dashboard.i had no idea of this paper cause is not posted anywhere in the bar and nobody told me either.also and most important they have signs all over the parking lot saying you can park up to 6 pm ...BUT IT IS A LIE ....they make more then 8 000 dollars a month towing cars. also be careful cause the towing company will put the wrong address on the receipt ,the scam is they illegally tow your car and write the wrong address so people like me have to prove the car was really parked there.
my case is in court right now.on the pre-trial they offer me and the manager mediation(we did not accept so we are going to trial) and the judge that heard my side already asked manager "Why would they have signs (parking for waxys from 8 am to 6 pm)on the parking lot . she sounded like she was on my side but now they saying my car was parked someplace else ,i cant believe they would actually get away with that lie...but we will see soon .
it will probably help if i get some signatures of people that had this happening to them ...
so if this happened to anyone please contact me at jesvinagre@hotmail.com
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Miami New Times 2009 Restaurant Wrap-Up
This is a great article about the goings on in the restaurant scene in our ever-changing city.
Miami Dining '09: Online for a Better Future
Miami Dining '09: Online for a Better Future
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Eat It - Le Cafe Pop, 3425 Main Highway, Coconut Grove, FL (786)362-5901
Pop Goes the Weasel
Get Your French On At A Cool New Cafe In The Heart Of Coconut Grove, It's The One You've Been Waiting For
You are so cool.
We mean it. Plus, you'll probably come back and read us again because we make you feel like the macho, urban, successful dude that you are. We'll keep it short, unlike the python in your pants, because we all have ADD now.
Frog Legs.
That's what they used to call you in Navy SEALS training.
Now that you've moved to the Magic City and become a real estate agent/luxury t-shirt designer/model, you, your iPhone and your two girlfriends want to go have a menage-a-trois right in the center of Coconut Grove.
We mean at a French restaurant.
With food.
Remember how we called you "Frog Legs" before? Yeah, well, they have those at Le Cafe Pop. But these ones didn't parachute out of a fighter jet onto the beaches of Bahrain to take out Saddam's sons. Iraq. Whatever.
Do yourself a favor and order a crispy Croque Madame sandwich. It comes served with a side of salad and fries. Get your Pulp Fiction on and dunk those pommes frites in some freshly made mayonnaise. Drown 'em in that stuff. A Croque Madame is a grilled ham and cheese sandwich with a fried egg on top.
We shudder to think what they put on a Croque Monsieur.
Vitals
http://lecafepopmiami.com/
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Eat It - Dolores, But You Can Call Me Lolita, 1000 S. Miami Ave., Miami, FL (305)403-3103
www.doloreslolita.com
We're gonna call it "Dolores Lolita," just like they do in the website URL, because, to call the place by its full name would probably be bad for the environment for some reason. Did you know that, if Google made it's homepage black instead of white, then malaria would be eradicated in sub-Saharan Africa? True story.
I'll cut short the digressions this time. To the restaurant review!
Dolores Lolita seems to have found some sort or restaurant pricing sweet spot, located above Chili's and below, say, uh, P.F. Chang's? I'm using chains because I'm hoping the references will make sense to all of my "Eat It, Miamians." With such vast readership, it is important that I be sensitive to cultural and geographical differences. Plus, "Chili's" and "Chang's" provide nice symmetry, what with the alliteration and the fact that both are possessive nouns. But I can't tell what P.F.'s prices are because the website doesn't show them. I think it's kind of moderately expensive. Maybe the Chinese government is blocking that information.
Incidentally, Chili's new 3 for $20 deal is outrageous. You simply MUST try it. You get an appetizer, 2 main courses (Only a selection of them is available. Don't get the Quesadilla Explosion Salad. It sounds amazing, but it sucks. Mr. Chili, if you're reading this, please, please, don't use the word "explosion" in your dish unless it's really damn good.), and a dessert. You and your date will not be hungry after eating all of that.
If you're too good for Chili's, I'm not going to go so far as to say that you're "one of those Barton G people," but you probably call Taco Bell by the cruel and grossly inaccurate nickname "Taco Hell." It is for this reason that I have taken to calling it "Taco Heaven." Kind of balances out the universe.
What would a Barton G Tex-Mex dish be called, you're asking? Wow, you guys really hate that place, huh. Well, now that you mention it, I bet those epicurean elitists would whip up something called "...you know, these usually just come to me. Pop right into my head, but I'm struggling with this one. Hmm, how about "Spicy Bandido Burritos?" They bring out a big bean burrito, but while you're eating it, you have to wear two huge ammo belts. You know, like El Guapo -
Or Rambo -
I don't know if you'd call what Rambo's doing "wearing them" but I thought it would be cool to put Rambo in here. He's awesome, that Rambo. Might be easier to eat your burrito if you wear your ammo belt like that. Do they call those bandoleros? I think they might, in which case the dish would be called "Big Bandido Bandolero Burrito." Now it's big instead of spicy. Well, it's still spicy, but it's not in the name anymore.
No good? How about "South of the Border Taco Salad Sombrero" and they serve you a bunch of lettuce and ground beef and cheese in a big straw hat? They also smear dirt on your face so you look like a real, live illegal immigrant who just got dropped off by a "coyote." I think that's what they call the dudes who smuggle people over the border. That's a big, fat fail, too? Ah, forget it. You win this round, Barton G.
So, you might be wondering what happened to getting to the restaurant review. I get easily distracted. That's why I wrote about Rambo in a review of a downtown Miami restaurant. Sly Stallone did live here for a while, so it's not totally out of left field. By the way, have you ever seen that movie "The Specialist?" It's one of those movies that's so bad that you can't turn away. It has Eric Roberts as the villain and Stallone's character makes a lot of calls from pay phones. It's probably Jeff Boden's favorite movie of all time. How on earth did this review get so long? I wish I were paid by the word like Charles Dickens. It wouldn't kill you to click on my banner ads, though, would it? Might give you cancer actually.
So, let's get to the restaurant, shall we? It's about time.
Because of the aforementioned perfect price point situation (I normally hate the term "price point" but I think it works here.), Dolores Lolita seems to always be packed. We went there on a Friday night and waited for like an hour and a half to be seated. This was after we were told the wait would be around 45 minutes. Wait, that's not totally accurate. At first we were told "sorry, we have nothing available." I was like "uh, so we have to go somewhere else?" The hostess then thought for a second and gave me the 45 minutes answer.
So, we went up to the rooftop and had a couple of drinks at the bar. It's lovely up there. Great views of all of the new buildings around Mary Brickell Village and there's usually a nice breeze. The bartender was delightful and the drinks were nicely mixed. So, as enjoyable as it was, our tummies were grumbling for some yum yums. What? That's what I say when I'm hungry! My girlfriend says it's adorable, so there.
Anyway, after waiting so long I was thinking it should really be called "Dolores But You Can Call Me Lo-late-a!" Zing! Just around then, we were seated. And for some reason, we got the best table in the place.
So, if you're unfamiliar with the menu at Dolores Lolita, it's always like Miami Spice. You get a generous appetizer and entree for either $18.75, if you choose from one list of entrees, or $23.75 if you choose one from the other. Desserts are $2.50. That's awesome.
Some dishes of note are the Caesar salad. It's huge and delicious. The main dishes are all good, I think. This last time I went, I had the pork shanks. Two fellow diners ordered the lobster ravioli and turned out to have gotten sick to their stomachs, unfortunately. I don't eat seafood anymore because of an adult-onset allergy, but that's the kind of thing I would probably have ordered in the past. Not sure if it was the creaminess of the sauce or if the lobster was bad, but both who ate it didn't digest it. Hey, better that than on the hips, right? O-oh!
One neat gimmick they have is that they include their gazpacho recipe if you order it, which is nice. I've been meaning to type it up, since they print it out like a receipt, and of course, over time, the ink degrades. This has already happened, like that photo of the McFlys (McFlies?) in Back to the Future. So, in case you want to make Dolores Lolita gazpacho, without disrupting the space-time continuum, here it is (I think. Some of it's blurry, like I said.) -
3-4 Lbs of tomatoes
1 Cucumber
2 Tablespoons of vinegar
2 Green or red peppers (This is strange to me because green and red peppers taste pretty different from one another.)
1 Clove of garlic
1 Cup of water
1 Cup of olive oil
3 Slices of bread
1 Pinch of ground cumin
Salt to taste
Blend all of the ingredients together and chill for at least 4 hours. Serve cold. (Serves 6)
You're welcome.
I almost always order Malbec because I like to make my girlfriend happy and that's the only thing she drinks. At Dolores Lolita they range from 26 to 42/bottle. That's quite reasonable.
For dessert, they totally redeemed themselves by bringing us free tiramisu. It's some of the best I've ever had, but I think I say that every time I have tiramisu.
That's it. That's the review.
We're gonna call it "Dolores Lolita," just like they do in the website URL, because, to call the place by its full name would probably be bad for the environment for some reason. Did you know that, if Google made it's homepage black instead of white, then malaria would be eradicated in sub-Saharan Africa? True story.
I'll cut short the digressions this time. To the restaurant review!
Dolores Lolita seems to have found some sort or restaurant pricing sweet spot, located above Chili's and below, say, uh, P.F. Chang's? I'm using chains because I'm hoping the references will make sense to all of my "Eat It, Miamians." With such vast readership, it is important that I be sensitive to cultural and geographical differences. Plus, "Chili's" and "Chang's" provide nice symmetry, what with the alliteration and the fact that both are possessive nouns. But I can't tell what P.F.'s prices are because the website doesn't show them. I think it's kind of moderately expensive. Maybe the Chinese government is blocking that information.
Incidentally, Chili's new 3 for $20 deal is outrageous. You simply MUST try it. You get an appetizer, 2 main courses (Only a selection of them is available. Don't get the Quesadilla Explosion Salad. It sounds amazing, but it sucks. Mr. Chili, if you're reading this, please, please, don't use the word "explosion" in your dish unless it's really damn good.), and a dessert. You and your date will not be hungry after eating all of that.
If you're too good for Chili's, I'm not going to go so far as to say that you're "one of those Barton G people," but you probably call Taco Bell by the cruel and grossly inaccurate nickname "Taco Hell." It is for this reason that I have taken to calling it "Taco Heaven." Kind of balances out the universe.
What would a Barton G Tex-Mex dish be called, you're asking? Wow, you guys really hate that place, huh. Well, now that you mention it, I bet those epicurean elitists would whip up something called "...you know, these usually just come to me. Pop right into my head, but I'm struggling with this one. Hmm, how about "Spicy Bandido Burritos?" They bring out a big bean burrito, but while you're eating it, you have to wear two huge ammo belts. You know, like El Guapo -
Or Rambo -
No good? How about "South of the Border Taco Salad Sombrero" and they serve you a bunch of lettuce and ground beef and cheese in a big straw hat? They also smear dirt on your face so you look like a real, live illegal immigrant who just got dropped off by a "coyote." I think that's what they call the dudes who smuggle people over the border. That's a big, fat fail, too? Ah, forget it. You win this round, Barton G.
So, you might be wondering what happened to getting to the restaurant review. I get easily distracted. That's why I wrote about Rambo in a review of a downtown Miami restaurant. Sly Stallone did live here for a while, so it's not totally out of left field. By the way, have you ever seen that movie "The Specialist?" It's one of those movies that's so bad that you can't turn away. It has Eric Roberts as the villain and Stallone's character makes a lot of calls from pay phones. It's probably Jeff Boden's favorite movie of all time. How on earth did this review get so long? I wish I were paid by the word like Charles Dickens. It wouldn't kill you to click on my banner ads, though, would it? Might give you cancer actually.
So, let's get to the restaurant, shall we? It's about time.
Because of the aforementioned perfect price point situation (I normally hate the term "price point" but I think it works here.), Dolores Lolita seems to always be packed. We went there on a Friday night and waited for like an hour and a half to be seated. This was after we were told the wait would be around 45 minutes. Wait, that's not totally accurate. At first we were told "sorry, we have nothing available." I was like "uh, so we have to go somewhere else?" The hostess then thought for a second and gave me the 45 minutes answer.
So, we went up to the rooftop and had a couple of drinks at the bar. It's lovely up there. Great views of all of the new buildings around Mary Brickell Village and there's usually a nice breeze. The bartender was delightful and the drinks were nicely mixed. So, as enjoyable as it was, our tummies were grumbling for some yum yums. What? That's what I say when I'm hungry! My girlfriend says it's adorable, so there.
Anyway, after waiting so long I was thinking it should really be called "Dolores But You Can Call Me Lo-late-a!" Zing! Just around then, we were seated. And for some reason, we got the best table in the place.
So, if you're unfamiliar with the menu at Dolores Lolita, it's always like Miami Spice. You get a generous appetizer and entree for either $18.75, if you choose from one list of entrees, or $23.75 if you choose one from the other. Desserts are $2.50. That's awesome.
Some dishes of note are the Caesar salad. It's huge and delicious. The main dishes are all good, I think. This last time I went, I had the pork shanks. Two fellow diners ordered the lobster ravioli and turned out to have gotten sick to their stomachs, unfortunately. I don't eat seafood anymore because of an adult-onset allergy, but that's the kind of thing I would probably have ordered in the past. Not sure if it was the creaminess of the sauce or if the lobster was bad, but both who ate it didn't digest it. Hey, better that than on the hips, right? O-oh!
One neat gimmick they have is that they include their gazpacho recipe if you order it, which is nice. I've been meaning to type it up, since they print it out like a receipt, and of course, over time, the ink degrades. This has already happened, like that photo of the McFlys (McFlies?) in Back to the Future. So, in case you want to make Dolores Lolita gazpacho, without disrupting the space-time continuum, here it is (I think. Some of it's blurry, like I said.) -
3-4 Lbs of tomatoes
1 Cucumber
2 Tablespoons of vinegar
2 Green or red peppers (This is strange to me because green and red peppers taste pretty different from one another.)
1 Clove of garlic
1 Cup of water
1 Cup of olive oil
3 Slices of bread
1 Pinch of ground cumin
Salt to taste
Blend all of the ingredients together and chill for at least 4 hours. Serve cold. (Serves 6)
You're welcome.
I almost always order Malbec because I like to make my girlfriend happy and that's the only thing she drinks. At Dolores Lolita they range from 26 to 42/bottle. That's quite reasonable.
For dessert, they totally redeemed themselves by bringing us free tiramisu. It's some of the best I've ever had, but I think I say that every time I have tiramisu.
That's it. That's the review.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Don't Eat It - Dick's Last Resort, Anywhere, Wherever
If Dick's Last Resort comes to Florida, I hope it ends up in Orlando or at least Broward County. No offense, Broward.
If it does, this is my preemptive review -
Me: "May I have a Coke, please?"
Waiter: "NO!"
AHAHAHAHAHA! How irreverent!
If it does, this is my preemptive review -
Me: "May I have a Coke, please?"
Waiter: "NO!"
AHAHAHAHAHA! How irreverent!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Still E.A.T.
A reader comment this morning has inspired me to write a little jingle -
Eat It is the name, we ahead of our game
Still, writing it sassy, but stayin' classy
Still not loving Waxy's (Uh huh)
Still getting in our sardonic licks
Still got love for the streets, repping 786
Still got hunger pangs, still doing our thang
We ain't left, ain't too much changed, still
Representing for them customers across the world
Still eating them pizzas next to Lolo's store
Medium rare is the only way to cook your meat
And we still got love for the beach, it's the E-A-T [Repeat 2x]
Here's the comment -
Anonymous said...
waxy o'connors towed my car also while i was having lunch at the bar.it was before 6.00 pm and it clearly says everywhere "waxy's parking 8am -6 pm." bartender said 10 cars from costumers are been [sic] towed PER WEEK.i guess that's how they make their money since the bar is empty all the time.
Eat It is the name, we ahead of our game
Still, writing it sassy, but stayin' classy
Still not loving Waxy's (Uh huh)
Still getting in our sardonic licks
Still got love for the streets, repping 786
Still got hunger pangs, still doing our thang
We ain't left, ain't too much changed, still
Representing for them customers across the world
Still eating them pizzas next to Lolo's store
Medium rare is the only way to cook your meat
And we still got love for the beach, it's the E-A-T [Repeat 2x]
Here's the comment -
Anonymous said...
waxy o'connors towed my car also while i was having lunch at the bar.it was before 6.00 pm and it clearly says everywhere "waxy's parking 8am -6 pm." bartender said 10 cars from costumers are been [sic] towed PER WEEK.i guess that's how they make their money since the bar is empty all the time.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Eat It - Jaxson's Ice Cream Parlor, 128 S Federal Hwy, Dania, FL (954) 923-4445
www.jaxsonsicecream.com
This is a text I sent just after leaving Jaxson's -
"I almost finished the root beer float and I think I'm going to die. I'm leaving you my copy of American Psycho."
I was obviously delusional because I plan on being cremated with my copy of American Psycho.
Anyway, Jaxson's is famous, I guess. I hadn't heard of it, but when you arrive, there's a line to get in the door and there are cheesy signs all over about how the restaurant has been featured on the Food Network and in Zagat's, blah blah blah. That suggested to me that it would be a tourist trap, but it's really worth checking out.
The smallest portion of ice cream that one can order is 2 scoops. These are no ordinary scoops of ice cream. Oh no. They are slightly less than a pint each and the ice cream, made at the restaurant daily, is extremely rich and creamy.
So, as you read earlier, I had a root beer float. Jaxson's is served in one of those mini pitchers and it has probably a pint of ice cream in it, topped with about 2 cups of whipped cream. It's placed in a large metal bowl because it's virtually impossible not to spill some of it.
If you're ever in the mood for a root beer float, I suggest going to Jaxson's before you've eaten anything. I made the mistake of going there for dessert, after brunch. I eat a lot. I'm skinny, but I eat at least twice as much as most normal people. I felt like I was going to pop after consuming about half of my float. By the time I got down near the bottom, I was pausing between bites, hoping against hope that I would finish. I decided I did not want to throw up in the restaurant, though I'm fairly certain that's happened before.
I'm imagining what a Barton G root beer float might look like. I guess it would probably be called the "Root Beer Float Your Boat" and it would be exactly like any other root beer float you've ever seen in your life except that it has a tiny sailboat in it and it costs $85. Plus, when you notice the cute little toy boat and remark to your fellow diners "Oh hey, a tiny sailboat! How clever!," the waiter runs over to your table and informs you that it would be more accurately described as a "schooner" since it has two masts, and also that you shouldn't have worn white since it's after Labor Day. God I hate that place.
But Jaxson's is cool. Go there. Oh, I almost forgot. It's not cheap. The sundaes cost like 15 bucks but they're huuuuuuuge. The float costs $9.
*THIS POST NOW ENHANCED WITH PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF -
This is a text I sent just after leaving Jaxson's -
"I almost finished the root beer float and I think I'm going to die. I'm leaving you my copy of American Psycho."
I was obviously delusional because I plan on being cremated with my copy of American Psycho.
Anyway, Jaxson's is famous, I guess. I hadn't heard of it, but when you arrive, there's a line to get in the door and there are cheesy signs all over about how the restaurant has been featured on the Food Network and in Zagat's, blah blah blah. That suggested to me that it would be a tourist trap, but it's really worth checking out.
The smallest portion of ice cream that one can order is 2 scoops. These are no ordinary scoops of ice cream. Oh no. They are slightly less than a pint each and the ice cream, made at the restaurant daily, is extremely rich and creamy.
So, as you read earlier, I had a root beer float. Jaxson's is served in one of those mini pitchers and it has probably a pint of ice cream in it, topped with about 2 cups of whipped cream. It's placed in a large metal bowl because it's virtually impossible not to spill some of it.
If you're ever in the mood for a root beer float, I suggest going to Jaxson's before you've eaten anything. I made the mistake of going there for dessert, after brunch. I eat a lot. I'm skinny, but I eat at least twice as much as most normal people. I felt like I was going to pop after consuming about half of my float. By the time I got down near the bottom, I was pausing between bites, hoping against hope that I would finish. I decided I did not want to throw up in the restaurant, though I'm fairly certain that's happened before.
I'm imagining what a Barton G root beer float might look like. I guess it would probably be called the "Root Beer Float Your Boat" and it would be exactly like any other root beer float you've ever seen in your life except that it has a tiny sailboat in it and it costs $85. Plus, when you notice the cute little toy boat and remark to your fellow diners "Oh hey, a tiny sailboat! How clever!," the waiter runs over to your table and informs you that it would be more accurately described as a "schooner" since it has two masts, and also that you shouldn't have worn white since it's after Labor Day. God I hate that place.
But Jaxson's is cool. Go there. Oh, I almost forgot. It's not cheap. The sundaes cost like 15 bucks but they're huuuuuuuge. The float costs $9.
*THIS POST NOW ENHANCED WITH PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF -
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Eat It - Mr. Yum, 1945 SW 8th St., Miami, FL (786)360-2371
www.mryummiami.com
Mr. Yum Asian Cuisine. Sounds pretty standard, right? I've gotta tell you, I don't like that as a theme for a restaurant. I don't like it one bit. You know I'm about to tell you why. Here comes one of my rants that has practically nothing to do with reviewing the restaurant!
You wouldn't have a North American themed restaurant, would you? You wouldn't have a restaurant that touted Caucasian Cuisine, am I right? See, this is what's wrong with America, but also highlights how Asians are using our ignorance against us in their evil plot to take over the world. Now I'm displaying a similar ignorance in lumping them all together, but hey, give me a break. I'm a gringo, too!
Please use a generic Asian accent as you read this. "Hey whitey, you like Chinese foo', you like sushi, you like fried rice, you like Pad Thai? We give all to you in one rest-a-rant."
I can't blame them. For years, anyone who was, uh, Jesus, I don't even know what to call them. Goddammit. I get in arguments with Indian friends of mine who say that they are ethnically Asian when I say that they are Caucasian. I sure am argumentative. Point is that people have, for generations, called everyone who's like that "Chinese." It's like calling everyone who's Hispanic "Mexican." For white people, this does not happen, for some reason. Maybe it does and we don't know about it.
So, what about all of the other "Asians" who don't get the designation that was once known as "Oriental?" Russia is in Asia. Pakistan. Afghanistan. Turkey. India. Yemen. These are all countries located in Asia. Man, this is making me even more upset now that I'm typing it out.
Anyway, you might be disappointed to learn, after all of that, that Mr. Yum has no Yemeni food anywhere on the menu. At least, not that I know of. I didn't look at the menu even once while I was there, since my friends ordered for the entire table. I also don't know what anything costs, because one of my fellow diners (a totally sweet dude) picked up the tab. I am not complaining about either of those things. Frankly, I'd be elated to live a fantasy life where tabs were picked up and I didn't know the price of the things I consumed. Actually, my life was like that until fairly recently, come to think of it.
To the Internet for pricing information! Chicken Pad Thai is 14 bucks. Red curry is the same. Appetizers range from 4 to 20 dollars, but you could easily be satisfied by sharing a few between two diners. The prices are fair and the quality of the food is very, very good. Beer ranges in price from $4 to $6.50. That makes me happy.
Ha ha, I just checked for desserts and they're listed under "desert." I have to keep reminding people that "dessert" is spelled with two esses because you want more of it. We had the very Atkins-unfriendly Twinkies Tempura. I don't think frying Twinkies is necessary. But one could say that I shouldn't crush Oreos up in my ice cream or order ten items when I go to Taco Bell.
Service at Mr. Yum is excellent, though the friends with whom I dined know the owner and he waited on us personally. It's possible that I had a slightly better experience than the average diner, but the place was packed on a Thursday night and people continued to arrive and fill the tables throughout the evening. We spent like 3 hours there, so we saw a fair amount of table turnover. Atmosphere and decor are hip and exciting. Bathrooms are spotless and for some reason I really liked the way the paper towels were rolled up -
As I finish this post, I am remembering that when I lived in Singapore, my host father once offered to bring me home some "western food" for dinner. It took me a little while to understand what he meant, because it came out as "westan foo." Even after I figured out what he saying, I had no idea what that could possibly mean, and it turned out that it was fried chicken, baked beans and cucumber all thrown together in a box that he got at a hawker center, which is basically a Singaporean food court. I suppose that's exactly the same thing as what I complained about throughout this post, but there's no way I'm starting over from scratch. Uh, withdrawn?
Mr. Yum Asian Cuisine. Sounds pretty standard, right? I've gotta tell you, I don't like that as a theme for a restaurant. I don't like it one bit. You know I'm about to tell you why. Here comes one of my rants that has practically nothing to do with reviewing the restaurant!
You wouldn't have a North American themed restaurant, would you? You wouldn't have a restaurant that touted Caucasian Cuisine, am I right? See, this is what's wrong with America, but also highlights how Asians are using our ignorance against us in their evil plot to take over the world. Now I'm displaying a similar ignorance in lumping them all together, but hey, give me a break. I'm a gringo, too!
Please use a generic Asian accent as you read this. "Hey whitey, you like Chinese foo', you like sushi, you like fried rice, you like Pad Thai? We give all to you in one rest-a-rant."
I can't blame them. For years, anyone who was, uh, Jesus, I don't even know what to call them. Goddammit. I get in arguments with Indian friends of mine who say that they are ethnically Asian when I say that they are Caucasian. I sure am argumentative. Point is that people have, for generations, called everyone who's like that "Chinese." It's like calling everyone who's Hispanic "Mexican." For white people, this does not happen, for some reason. Maybe it does and we don't know about it.
So, what about all of the other "Asians" who don't get the designation that was once known as "Oriental?" Russia is in Asia. Pakistan. Afghanistan. Turkey. India. Yemen. These are all countries located in Asia. Man, this is making me even more upset now that I'm typing it out.
Anyway, you might be disappointed to learn, after all of that, that Mr. Yum has no Yemeni food anywhere on the menu. At least, not that I know of. I didn't look at the menu even once while I was there, since my friends ordered for the entire table. I also don't know what anything costs, because one of my fellow diners (a totally sweet dude) picked up the tab. I am not complaining about either of those things. Frankly, I'd be elated to live a fantasy life where tabs were picked up and I didn't know the price of the things I consumed. Actually, my life was like that until fairly recently, come to think of it.
To the Internet for pricing information! Chicken Pad Thai is 14 bucks. Red curry is the same. Appetizers range from 4 to 20 dollars, but you could easily be satisfied by sharing a few between two diners. The prices are fair and the quality of the food is very, very good. Beer ranges in price from $4 to $6.50. That makes me happy.
Ha ha, I just checked for desserts and they're listed under "desert." I have to keep reminding people that "dessert" is spelled with two esses because you want more of it. We had the very Atkins-unfriendly Twinkies Tempura. I don't think frying Twinkies is necessary. But one could say that I shouldn't crush Oreos up in my ice cream or order ten items when I go to Taco Bell.
Service at Mr. Yum is excellent, though the friends with whom I dined know the owner and he waited on us personally. It's possible that I had a slightly better experience than the average diner, but the place was packed on a Thursday night and people continued to arrive and fill the tables throughout the evening. We spent like 3 hours there, so we saw a fair amount of table turnover. Atmosphere and decor are hip and exciting. Bathrooms are spotless and for some reason I really liked the way the paper towels were rolled up -
As I finish this post, I am remembering that when I lived in Singapore, my host father once offered to bring me home some "western food" for dinner. It took me a little while to understand what he meant, because it came out as "westan foo." Even after I figured out what he saying, I had no idea what that could possibly mean, and it turned out that it was fried chicken, baked beans and cucumber all thrown together in a box that he got at a hawker center, which is basically a Singaporean food court. I suppose that's exactly the same thing as what I complained about throughout this post, but there's no way I'm starting over from scratch. Uh, withdrawn?
Friday, October 9, 2009
Eat It - George's, 3145 Commodore Plz., Miami, FL (305)444-7878
Let me know when this website works, because I'd like to get another look at the prices. For now, it's just some post-modern, black screen. Deep. Probably meant as some sort of metaphor. Life is meaningless. Food will not fill the gaping hole in our souls. You know, that old chestnut. I guess the alternative would be a photo of a cake with a big penis between two breasts. That will make sense later.
www.georgesinthegrove.com
A good buddy of mine recently celebrated his birthday at George's in the Grove. It's one of his usual dinner spots, so I was happy to try it out after hearing him talk about it for so long. It's kind of a tourist trap for locals, if that makes any sense, but it's worth checking out. George's is certainly waaaay less annoying than Barton G. It's been voted "Best Restaurant for Celebrating a Birthday" by the New Times, and there were at least 6 other tables who celebrated on the same night that we did. They do make it fun with loud music and dimmed lights accompanying the cake presentation. It's a lot better than the usual restaurant birthday song that makes one embarrassed to be a member of the human race.
From what I've read on line, you can make a reservation, which they'll take over the phone, only to pretend it never existed once you've arrived. That kind of sucks. I strolled in with the first couple of attendees that night and we waited for at least 20 minutes before being seated. That wouldn't have been so bad had there been someone to serve us a drink at the bar. I guess people sit at the bar and eat sometimes, but the restaurant is so packed with tables that you can't even stand at the bar without being completely in the way of the waitstaff. While you're eating, with your legs pinned beside the table's (legs), you are regularly bumped by waiters on the way to the kitchen and diners on the way to and from the potty. I hope they're washing their hands.
The lack of pre-dinner drink was quickly excused when we were presented with glasses of complimentary champagne, one of the restaurant's signatures. It's a nice touch and makes any meal at George's feel celebratory, I am sure.
The food at George's is good. It's not great. It's not surprisingly good. Nor is it disappointing. It's just adequate, I think. The disappointment for me came when, after having pointed directly at the Duck Confit Pizza on the menu to avoid confusion, I was served the regular Duck Confit dish (which is located far away on the menu, by the way). Life is so hard sometimes...
I have a policy of not returning food unless I plan on not eating anything, so I told the waiter that I would prefer not to be charged for the dish I was served, but rather the (cheaper) dish I had ordered, and that I did not want to make a big deal of it. He took the plate away immediately, at which point the diner across the table offered to split his pizza with me (We were a large group and we had only just met. It was, indeed, a gracious offer.). I agreed and canceled the Duck Confit Pizza. I am basically paranoid about sending food back to the kitchen and waiting to ingest a mystery ingredient (bodily fluid) that has been surreptitiously added to my dish. Think "Road Trip" French Toast -
God, I love the internet.
Other diners ordered fish dishes that were pretty average. Mostly, the ambiance and company made for a delightful evening, and the atmosphere at George's is so relaxed that you're comfortable hooting and hollering and having a great time. It really is perfect for birthdays in that regard.
When dessert came, it was clear that we were celebrating with a special birthday boy. The song they blasted seemed much louder and cooler than the typical YMCA and Dancing Queen that had been played for others, and the cake was bigger and more elaborate than ones we had seen presented at other tables.
Here is a photo of both the cake and the birthday boy. His face has been obscured for his protection. Let's give him a pseudonym like, oh, say, Jeff Boden.
Aside from the delicious dessert, when the bill came, of course, we got a cluster fudge. That's what always happens when you have a big group. Everyone feels cheated and, even though the birthday boy was the biggest earner at a table that had among its members grad students and the underemployed, we all paid for him. So, I was a little annoyed that I spent $80 for my share and ate only half a pizza. It's a good thing I drank a LOT of the wine. I had to point out that we had still been charged for the Duck Confit, but that wasn't surprising. That's why you must always check the bill at the end of your meal. The dessert was tasty, but I think they charged us $7/person. That's a little too much.
I know it sounds like I didn't like it that much, but I really enjoyed George's. You should just know what to expect before you go there.
www.georgesinthegrove.com
A good buddy of mine recently celebrated his birthday at George's in the Grove. It's one of his usual dinner spots, so I was happy to try it out after hearing him talk about it for so long. It's kind of a tourist trap for locals, if that makes any sense, but it's worth checking out. George's is certainly waaaay less annoying than Barton G. It's been voted "Best Restaurant for Celebrating a Birthday" by the New Times, and there were at least 6 other tables who celebrated on the same night that we did. They do make it fun with loud music and dimmed lights accompanying the cake presentation. It's a lot better than the usual restaurant birthday song that makes one embarrassed to be a member of the human race.
From what I've read on line, you can make a reservation, which they'll take over the phone, only to pretend it never existed once you've arrived. That kind of sucks. I strolled in with the first couple of attendees that night and we waited for at least 20 minutes before being seated. That wouldn't have been so bad had there been someone to serve us a drink at the bar. I guess people sit at the bar and eat sometimes, but the restaurant is so packed with tables that you can't even stand at the bar without being completely in the way of the waitstaff. While you're eating, with your legs pinned beside the table's (legs), you are regularly bumped by waiters on the way to the kitchen and diners on the way to and from the potty. I hope they're washing their hands.
The lack of pre-dinner drink was quickly excused when we were presented with glasses of complimentary champagne, one of the restaurant's signatures. It's a nice touch and makes any meal at George's feel celebratory, I am sure.
The food at George's is good. It's not great. It's not surprisingly good. Nor is it disappointing. It's just adequate, I think. The disappointment for me came when, after having pointed directly at the Duck Confit Pizza on the menu to avoid confusion, I was served the regular Duck Confit dish (which is located far away on the menu, by the way). Life is so hard sometimes...
I have a policy of not returning food unless I plan on not eating anything, so I told the waiter that I would prefer not to be charged for the dish I was served, but rather the (cheaper) dish I had ordered, and that I did not want to make a big deal of it. He took the plate away immediately, at which point the diner across the table offered to split his pizza with me (We were a large group and we had only just met. It was, indeed, a gracious offer.). I agreed and canceled the Duck Confit Pizza. I am basically paranoid about sending food back to the kitchen and waiting to ingest a mystery ingredient (bodily fluid) that has been surreptitiously added to my dish. Think "Road Trip" French Toast -
God, I love the internet.
Other diners ordered fish dishes that were pretty average. Mostly, the ambiance and company made for a delightful evening, and the atmosphere at George's is so relaxed that you're comfortable hooting and hollering and having a great time. It really is perfect for birthdays in that regard.
When dessert came, it was clear that we were celebrating with a special birthday boy. The song they blasted seemed much louder and cooler than the typical YMCA and Dancing Queen that had been played for others, and the cake was bigger and more elaborate than ones we had seen presented at other tables.
Here is a photo of both the cake and the birthday boy. His face has been obscured for his protection. Let's give him a pseudonym like, oh, say, Jeff Boden.
Aside from the delicious dessert, when the bill came, of course, we got a cluster fudge. That's what always happens when you have a big group. Everyone feels cheated and, even though the birthday boy was the biggest earner at a table that had among its members grad students and the underemployed, we all paid for him. So, I was a little annoyed that I spent $80 for my share and ate only half a pizza. It's a good thing I drank a LOT of the wine. I had to point out that we had still been charged for the Duck Confit, but that wasn't surprising. That's why you must always check the bill at the end of your meal. The dessert was tasty, but I think they charged us $7/person. That's a little too much.
I know it sounds like I didn't like it that much, but I really enjoyed George's. You should just know what to expect before you go there.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Eat It - Gotham Steak, Fontainebleau Resort, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL (305)674-4692
http://www.fontainebleau.com/gcm/nar/en-us/miamibeach/savor/restaurant/gotham.htm
I think they call it Gotham Steak because you have to be Bruce Wayne to be able to afford eating there. I guess it's not the most expensive place in the world, but it's too expensive for me.
Appetizers cost about $20 and a steak will cost you around 40 or 50. Throw in a side for 12, their cheapest bottle of wine for 60 (I have read that restaurants often rip you off on the second cheapest bottle of wine, since they figure most people don't want to look cheap and order the least expensive, which is usually a pretty good deal), and maybe split a dessert for, I don't know, probably 15 bucks (not listed on the website). Add tax and gratuity and you're easily spending over $130/person at Gotham Steak.
I think this menu was designed for hedge fund managers circa 2006 who would be willing to drop $400/night at the then under-renovation Fontainebleau. While I'm at it, can we please not call it "Fountain Blue?" It's named after a chateau in France named "Fontainebleau," whose name comes from "Fontaine Belle Eau." For all you gringos, it's pronounced "Fawn Ten Blow." That's what the name is.
I'm kind of fed up with people who have just decided that things aren't what they are. I can't go around saying that red lights are green and start driving through them, can I? I guess I can, but it won't be pretty. Those two things have nothing to do with one another, but I'm trying to make a point about something important to me that is, once again, practically completely insignificant. Or maybe it's not...maybe I'm the only sane one in a crazy, crazy world. Sigh, the people who work there don't even pronounce it correctly...
Back to the restaurant. Lucky for the rest of us jokers, Miami Spice allows the common man to still spend more than he normally would on a meal, but get a little taste of the good life. If you're lucky, you'll get a waiter who doesn't roll his or her eyes when you ask for the Miami Spice menu. Ours said "oh, it's a great deal." That was nice of him. He was a real pro. Attentive as could be without being annoying.
The highlight of the meal, other than the wonderful company of my beautiful girlfriend, of course, was the bread. Oh my, the bread was so, so good. It's like a little present. The rolls are baked in a small ceramic dish, assembled into sort of a large, muffin-looking super roll. Like a Voltron of rolls, if you will. For my younger readers, this is Voltron -
See, all those cats are robots controlled by the different members of the team and they can come together to become Voltron and defend the universe. Pretty awesome, I know. The rolls? Right, the rolls. I ate, if I remember correctly, 7 or 8 of them. Beat that Voltron! That is how I keep all 155 lbs. of hugeness on these bones, baby.
For starters, I had the heirloom tomato salad with feta and watermelon. Delicious and refreshing. My girlfriend had the tuna tartare that came in a baseball-sized portion. For Miami Spice items, they were very generous. When I remarked to the waiter that it was a rather large portion for a tuna tartare, he replied "you should see the regular one, it's even bigger." Wow. That's a lot of raw fish to eat before you eat a big steak. God bless America.
For my main course, I had the braised veal cheeks. Sounds cute for some reason. They were incredible. Our waiter said they were cooked for 6 hours or something like that. Maybe it was more than that. I think it was more. It was more. Renee had skirt steak, and that was delicious, too. The accompaniments were wonderful so that a combined forkful was packed with big flavors. Hers had bacon and spinach and mine had polenta and roasted tomatoes. I even got to eat like half of hers, so by dessert time I was already stuffed.
So what did I do? I ordered doughnuts, of course. I like that they spell them that way on the menu rather than "donuts." Probably comes from a similar psychological place as my disdain for mispronunciation (boarding school). They were awesome, but I was unable to finish them. That's a good sign for a Miami Spice dinner. I was totally stuffed. I can't really stress enough how stuffed I was. Stuffed. I don't think I even had any of Renee's dessert. Hmm, I don't seem to remember. This is why I have to write the review the night of or the next day, lest I forget things like that.
A couple of things to point out. The bathrooms are outside the restaurant and down the hall. I suppose that's not unusual in a hotel, but I still don't like it. I'm fussy! The decor is not very fancy considering the prices. I will say again that we had a great waiter. We were both stuffed after our meals. Not sure if I mentioned that. And there is free valet parking (I think only during Miami Spice)! I really appreciated that. Over all a great deal. What would have cost well over $200 was about $155. That's not exactly a cheap night out, but it's pretty darn good considering the experience.
You'd better hurry if you want to try it 'cause Miami Spice ends on 9/30! Here's Gotham Steak's Miami Spice menu.
I think they call it Gotham Steak because you have to be Bruce Wayne to be able to afford eating there. I guess it's not the most expensive place in the world, but it's too expensive for me.
Appetizers cost about $20 and a steak will cost you around 40 or 50. Throw in a side for 12, their cheapest bottle of wine for 60 (I have read that restaurants often rip you off on the second cheapest bottle of wine, since they figure most people don't want to look cheap and order the least expensive, which is usually a pretty good deal), and maybe split a dessert for, I don't know, probably 15 bucks (not listed on the website). Add tax and gratuity and you're easily spending over $130/person at Gotham Steak.
I think this menu was designed for hedge fund managers circa 2006 who would be willing to drop $400/night at the then under-renovation Fontainebleau. While I'm at it, can we please not call it "Fountain Blue?" It's named after a chateau in France named "Fontainebleau," whose name comes from "Fontaine Belle Eau." For all you gringos, it's pronounced "Fawn Ten Blow." That's what the name is.
I'm kind of fed up with people who have just decided that things aren't what they are. I can't go around saying that red lights are green and start driving through them, can I? I guess I can, but it won't be pretty. Those two things have nothing to do with one another, but I'm trying to make a point about something important to me that is, once again, practically completely insignificant. Or maybe it's not...maybe I'm the only sane one in a crazy, crazy world. Sigh, the people who work there don't even pronounce it correctly...
Back to the restaurant. Lucky for the rest of us jokers, Miami Spice allows the common man to still spend more than he normally would on a meal, but get a little taste of the good life. If you're lucky, you'll get a waiter who doesn't roll his or her eyes when you ask for the Miami Spice menu. Ours said "oh, it's a great deal." That was nice of him. He was a real pro. Attentive as could be without being annoying.
The highlight of the meal, other than the wonderful company of my beautiful girlfriend, of course, was the bread. Oh my, the bread was so, so good. It's like a little present. The rolls are baked in a small ceramic dish, assembled into sort of a large, muffin-looking super roll. Like a Voltron of rolls, if you will. For my younger readers, this is Voltron -
See, all those cats are robots controlled by the different members of the team and they can come together to become Voltron and defend the universe. Pretty awesome, I know. The rolls? Right, the rolls. I ate, if I remember correctly, 7 or 8 of them. Beat that Voltron! That is how I keep all 155 lbs. of hugeness on these bones, baby.For starters, I had the heirloom tomato salad with feta and watermelon. Delicious and refreshing. My girlfriend had the tuna tartare that came in a baseball-sized portion. For Miami Spice items, they were very generous. When I remarked to the waiter that it was a rather large portion for a tuna tartare, he replied "you should see the regular one, it's even bigger." Wow. That's a lot of raw fish to eat before you eat a big steak. God bless America.
For my main course, I had the braised veal cheeks. Sounds cute for some reason. They were incredible. Our waiter said they were cooked for 6 hours or something like that. Maybe it was more than that. I think it was more. It was more. Renee had skirt steak, and that was delicious, too. The accompaniments were wonderful so that a combined forkful was packed with big flavors. Hers had bacon and spinach and mine had polenta and roasted tomatoes. I even got to eat like half of hers, so by dessert time I was already stuffed.
So what did I do? I ordered doughnuts, of course. I like that they spell them that way on the menu rather than "donuts." Probably comes from a similar psychological place as my disdain for mispronunciation (boarding school). They were awesome, but I was unable to finish them. That's a good sign for a Miami Spice dinner. I was totally stuffed. I can't really stress enough how stuffed I was. Stuffed. I don't think I even had any of Renee's dessert. Hmm, I don't seem to remember. This is why I have to write the review the night of or the next day, lest I forget things like that.
A couple of things to point out. The bathrooms are outside the restaurant and down the hall. I suppose that's not unusual in a hotel, but I still don't like it. I'm fussy! The decor is not very fancy considering the prices. I will say again that we had a great waiter. We were both stuffed after our meals. Not sure if I mentioned that. And there is free valet parking (I think only during Miami Spice)! I really appreciated that. Over all a great deal. What would have cost well over $200 was about $155. That's not exactly a cheap night out, but it's pretty darn good considering the experience.
You'd better hurry if you want to try it 'cause Miami Spice ends on 9/30! Here's Gotham Steak's Miami Spice menu.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Great DeVito's Review
This review made my mouth water. I am going to hit up DeVito's before Miami Spice ends...
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/shortorder/2009/09/kobe_confidential_devito_south.php
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/shortorder/2009/09/kobe_confidential_devito_south.php
Monday, August 31, 2009
eat it - cheesme, 1200 washington ave (side entrance), miami beach, fl (786)276-6146
here i was, planning to do this whole review in lower case letters as an homage to cheesme's name, and lo and behold, upon retrieving the business card from my wallet, i see that the sign is written in ALL CAPS! I CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF WRITING THE REVIEW LIKE THIS. so, why was i under the impression that the name was written in lower case letters? maybe because that is how they wrote it on the facebook fan page. come to think of it, "facebook" is written that way, too. the words look friendlier like that, for some reason. eat it, miami. EAT IT, MIAMI. see, it makes a difference. it looks like i'm yelling at you in the latter version.
Enough of that silliness. So, some friends of some friends opened "cheesme grilled cheese and fry bar," which to me is enough distance that I felt I could check the place out and give it a fair review. I'm not a real journalist, but I think there's a certain amount of objectivity that is expected from people when they read a stupid blog like this.
I must admit that I was skeptical of the concept for the restaurant. Fancy grilled cheese? Uh, people will pay a lot for that? That's the kind of meal you make when you're broke and all you have in the fridge is some slices of yellow American cheese. It's somewhat similar to The Cereal Bowl, in that respect: paying a premium for a normally budget food product.
Ah, but I was forgetting the X Factor, or S-E-X Factor, if you will. Chicks universally love the idea of a grilled cheese restaurant! Therefore, men will want to go, too. That's the idea behind ladies nights at bars. Same thing. Except, instead of booze that makes women fat, it's fried meat and cheese sandwiches.
I am told the dessert menu will include doughnuts. Great. At least women work out here, rather than covering the extra stuff up with sweaters and corduroy like they do in Boston. They don't even shave their legs during the winter up there. Gross. My posts seem to have taken sort of a misogynistic turn lately...
As usual, it's taken me forever to get around to actually reviewing this restaurant. South Florida Daily Blog will no doubt take exception to this. I contend that my humorous anecdotes and hilarious digressions are what keep my readers coming back by the tens! My readership is vast. I had a visit from Malta recently. That's, like, totally far and stuff.
So, around 930 on Saturday, a few friends and I found the entrance around the back of some crappy club on the corner of 12th and Washington on South Beach. I don't know what the club is called, but it has like an A and a V or something stylized like that on the glass. Never been inside and I don't know anyone who's gone there or talked about it, but I'm 30, so I probably don't know what's cool anymore anyway.
The entrance is a set of concrete stairs to a side door that appears to be the old emergency exit from the kitchen of the attached club (which was probably a mediocre Italian restaurant at some point). I have to tell you that, in August, it feels like you're hanging out in a kitchen when you get there. I'd advise you to dress in linen pants and tank tops, maybe. Ladies, the skimpier the outfit, the better. For your own good, don't do anything stupid like wearing leggings. Those have to be out of style by now, don't they? And I hear it gets really, really warm when club and restaurant people get off work in the wee hours and fill the place up.
A funny story that my spies told me is that on a recent evening, when cheesme was packed with that industry crowd, a rather homely, single man (the type who should make you nervous at your place of work or yoga studio) wandered in, blabbing about how he was the son of one of the founders of Five Guys. He proceeded to claim that cheesme's creators had ripped off the concept and menu from Five Guys, then left and returned with two grocery bags full of burgers to serve cheesme's customers some "real food." I think this is a case where violence might actually be the answer. The man clearly has a small, you know, penis and serious self-confidence issues. I hope he doesn't read this.
I'm not really sure what cheesme and Five Guys have in common, other than the fact that they are both places where people go and pay to eat food that restaurant employees have prepared for them. I don't know how long Five Guys has been around, but maybe they invented that concept. And what menu items do they have other than burgers and fries? Don't get me wrong. I like Five Guys. A lot. I ate at the one in Jupiter on Saturday afternoon. It was the very thing I ate prior to my meal at cheesme. How ironic [note: I only use "ironic" incorrectly, since that's what everyone else does].
At cheesme, they have every kind of cheese you could imagine putting in a grilled cheese sandwich (and some you wouldn't, like you know, fancy French ones). They also have lots of different types of bread. I ordered the "Shorty," which is braised short ribs with blue cheese and roasted red peppers on pumpernickel bread. Mmm! You can either choose a menu sandwich or select a meat, a cheese and a bread. A typical sandwich costs between 12 and 14 bucks.
My buddy Larry made his own creation which was a kobe burger with honey mustard and I-forget-what-cheese on a croissant. We had to take him for angioplasty immediately afterward, but he enjoyed eating it.
The sandwiches have so much flavor, that it's funny to watch people take the first bite and see (and hear) their reactions. I think that, for people who really love eating and preparing food, one of the main reasons they do it is to see others' enjoyment.
Upon entering the space, I had turned to my friend Dre and said "sweet, this is like hanging out in the kitchen of a restaurant," to which he replied "that's exactly what it is. We're in a restaurant kitchen." Oh, right. Got it.
Randy and Rush, the guys in that kitchen and whose names suggest they might be twins, are more like bartenders than cooks that are hidden in the nether regions of a long, skinny chunk of South Florida real estate. It turns out that Randy likes to call them "foodtenders." The whole thing is really quite clever. Even the name "cheesme" is a play on words. "Chisme" is a Spanish word that can mean "gimmick" or "gossip."
I wish them luck because I think this could really be something.
Enough of that silliness. So, some friends of some friends opened "cheesme grilled cheese and fry bar," which to me is enough distance that I felt I could check the place out and give it a fair review. I'm not a real journalist, but I think there's a certain amount of objectivity that is expected from people when they read a stupid blog like this.
I must admit that I was skeptical of the concept for the restaurant. Fancy grilled cheese? Uh, people will pay a lot for that? That's the kind of meal you make when you're broke and all you have in the fridge is some slices of yellow American cheese. It's somewhat similar to The Cereal Bowl, in that respect: paying a premium for a normally budget food product.
Ah, but I was forgetting the X Factor, or S-E-X Factor, if you will. Chicks universally love the idea of a grilled cheese restaurant! Therefore, men will want to go, too. That's the idea behind ladies nights at bars. Same thing. Except, instead of booze that makes women fat, it's fried meat and cheese sandwiches.
I am told the dessert menu will include doughnuts. Great. At least women work out here, rather than covering the extra stuff up with sweaters and corduroy like they do in Boston. They don't even shave their legs during the winter up there. Gross. My posts seem to have taken sort of a misogynistic turn lately...
As usual, it's taken me forever to get around to actually reviewing this restaurant. South Florida Daily Blog will no doubt take exception to this. I contend that my humorous anecdotes and hilarious digressions are what keep my readers coming back by the tens! My readership is vast. I had a visit from Malta recently. That's, like, totally far and stuff.
So, around 930 on Saturday, a few friends and I found the entrance around the back of some crappy club on the corner of 12th and Washington on South Beach. I don't know what the club is called, but it has like an A and a V or something stylized like that on the glass. Never been inside and I don't know anyone who's gone there or talked about it, but I'm 30, so I probably don't know what's cool anymore anyway.
The entrance is a set of concrete stairs to a side door that appears to be the old emergency exit from the kitchen of the attached club (which was probably a mediocre Italian restaurant at some point). I have to tell you that, in August, it feels like you're hanging out in a kitchen when you get there. I'd advise you to dress in linen pants and tank tops, maybe. Ladies, the skimpier the outfit, the better. For your own good, don't do anything stupid like wearing leggings. Those have to be out of style by now, don't they? And I hear it gets really, really warm when club and restaurant people get off work in the wee hours and fill the place up.
A funny story that my spies told me is that on a recent evening, when cheesme was packed with that industry crowd, a rather homely, single man (the type who should make you nervous at your place of work or yoga studio) wandered in, blabbing about how he was the son of one of the founders of Five Guys. He proceeded to claim that cheesme's creators had ripped off the concept and menu from Five Guys, then left and returned with two grocery bags full of burgers to serve cheesme's customers some "real food." I think this is a case where violence might actually be the answer. The man clearly has a small, you know, penis and serious self-confidence issues. I hope he doesn't read this.
I'm not really sure what cheesme and Five Guys have in common, other than the fact that they are both places where people go and pay to eat food that restaurant employees have prepared for them. I don't know how long Five Guys has been around, but maybe they invented that concept. And what menu items do they have other than burgers and fries? Don't get me wrong. I like Five Guys. A lot. I ate at the one in Jupiter on Saturday afternoon. It was the very thing I ate prior to my meal at cheesme. How ironic [note: I only use "ironic" incorrectly, since that's what everyone else does].
At cheesme, they have every kind of cheese you could imagine putting in a grilled cheese sandwich (and some you wouldn't, like you know, fancy French ones). They also have lots of different types of bread. I ordered the "Shorty," which is braised short ribs with blue cheese and roasted red peppers on pumpernickel bread. Mmm! You can either choose a menu sandwich or select a meat, a cheese and a bread. A typical sandwich costs between 12 and 14 bucks.
My buddy Larry made his own creation which was a kobe burger with honey mustard and I-forget-what-cheese on a croissant. We had to take him for angioplasty immediately afterward, but he enjoyed eating it.
The sandwiches have so much flavor, that it's funny to watch people take the first bite and see (and hear) their reactions. I think that, for people who really love eating and preparing food, one of the main reasons they do it is to see others' enjoyment.
Upon entering the space, I had turned to my friend Dre and said "sweet, this is like hanging out in the kitchen of a restaurant," to which he replied "that's exactly what it is. We're in a restaurant kitchen." Oh, right. Got it.
Randy and Rush, the guys in that kitchen and whose names suggest they might be twins, are more like bartenders than cooks that are hidden in the nether regions of a long, skinny chunk of South Florida real estate. It turns out that Randy likes to call them "foodtenders." The whole thing is really quite clever. Even the name "cheesme" is a play on words. "Chisme" is a Spanish word that can mean "gimmick" or "gossip."
I wish them luck because I think this could really be something.
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